Intimacy

Part 60

( Hey beautiful people.

Here are some songs I listened to when I was writing this chapter. Hehehe

King of my heart - Taylor Swift
Back to you - Selena Gomez
Beside you - 5SOS
Don't blame me - Taylor Swift)

"Honey I'll make you a cup of tea." My mother said as she walks inside the kitchen and left me inside my bedroom.

I sighed when I look at the mirror, it's been a long effin day today. My face makeup and my hair is a mess.

I will clean and take a shower later but for now I have to read what's inside of Joel's journal.

I still can't believe my best friend owns a journal. What are the odds of not knowing he's a guy who writes.

So I open the book and the first is his name, age, school, dream college and best friend's name that is me. My name is on his first page.

I smiled, he's full of surprises. I like how our friendship is really strong - was.

Was.

I turned to the next page and it's a picture of him and his mother. He was talking about how much he loves Mexico and his mom. That's really sweet of him for writing a whole page about his love for his mom and Mexico.

And on the next page.

I saw my name...

Dear Journal,

You know what. I always spend my time with my best friend. She's a sweetheart, she sometimes act like a boy. What am I kidding, she always act like he's a tough guy.

But she looks like a cute bunny instead.

"Cute bunny." I chuckled.

I love her so much but I don't think she will ever feel the same way about me. I mean we are friends and she sees me as a brother.

What?

I rubbed my eyes, am I reading this right? He wrote this about me?

Joel has feelings for me?

What...

I turned to the next page and..

Dear Journal, so she met my friends from college and I feel so stupid. I think she likes one of my friends and that is Christopher. I have never seen her smile like that before but that smile when she saw Chris is just letting me know that she definitely has a crush on him :(

I'm hurt.

I thought I had a chance.

I'm so confused, he got to be joking? He wrote all these? About his feelings for me and the day I met Chris?

I thought he ...

Nevermind..

I turn to the next page..

Turns out I am right, she likes Chris. I wish to die , I couldn't bear to see her with someone else. I thought I am the only guy for her. I thought we could be together. I thought in the end she will love me but not as friends. Love as in love like how I feel about her.

It's so painful..

I closed the journal and placed it next to me on the bed. I hugged my knees and stare at the damn wall like an idiot.

Suddenly, my mind drifted to when we were talking about something. He told me that he love me and I thought that was him being a friend.

But he was confessing his feelings for me.