Intimacy

Part 34

《Hey guys here are a few songs I listen to when I'm writing this chapter.

Imagination - Shawn Mendes
Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin
Delicate - Taylor Swift
Harmony Hall - Vampire Weekend》

Joel's POV

I received a text from Zabdiel saying Chris can walk without the crutches.

Like I give a damn care about him.

Honestly I envy him, jealous no because I am never jealous of anybody. Why should I be jealous of Chris?

Enough about him.

I made the whole damn dating deal for fun and see how happy my best friend can be when she's with him, I would do anything to see that beautiful smile of hers but I never thought she still loves him, Valerie is out of her mind.

What's with Chris that she found attractive anyway?

Why can't she open her eyes.

I kissed her twice. Our intimacy that moment was precious to me and it probably was a mistake to her.

Richard and I are currently vaping right now. It seems pretty cool when we vape because of the smoke and shit.

"Still a pussy?" Richard asked nudging me with his big ass elbow covered with tattoos.

He and Chris has a lot of tattoos, kinda tempting me to get tattoos too but that can wait.

I put my vape down on the table seated in front of me and switch the channel again.

Richard lightly punch my shoulder to get my attention which I gladly ignore him even more.

"Dude when are you gonna stop being a pussy? You're telling me you're just gonna let her go?"

I clucked my tongue, ruffled my wavy hair into a mess, more messier than before now.

"I cannot tell her how I feel about her because that would ruined our friendship." I didn't tell any of my friends that we kissed because that would be more fuck of a drama and I had enough.

They're not gonna leave it alone if I told one of them that me and Valerie kissed.

I can tell she regretted it so what's the point of bragging about kissing the girl that I have a crush on since forever.

"You're an idiot, you're the stupidest idiot dumb ass shit I've ever met."Richard said trying to insult me to the fullest.

"Actually no I'm not. She should never know." I defended myself because hell yeah I have pride.

Richard glance at me and raise a brow, "Listen dude, you made the whole deal thing up to Chris because that chick likes him..My question is you really want to see the girl you love being with someone else rather than you?"

I sighed, "Enough please, I thought we talked about this. Why do you care so much about my feelings for her. Erick and Zabdiel doesn't give a shit."

He formed a line with his lips, "Because I was once a coward." He said looking at me then look away from my gaze.

"You loved a girl before and never tell her?" I questioned.

He shook, "Nope not particularly your situation, I was not an idiot to the max like you for concealing your feelings. I told her I loved her and we were a thing but then shit happens and she got pregnant. I couldn't take it the responsibilities. We were so young and I made a decision, only cowards do. I broke up with her because she's pregnant..but then she came back crying telling me all these bullshit about helping her funding for the baby.. my once was a sperm child. I had no choice but to help her with it.. and suddenly she found a man who willing to support her and give her the love she never had from me. I was a coward for leaving her when she was pregnant. And now look at me, I'm miserable without her."