Intimacy

Part 71

With my arms crossed, I stood in this spot for like a few seconds then I managed to say something.

We broke up, we don't talk anymore, he dated this aussie girl and he looked like he's happy in Australia but now he wants me back?

Make it make sense.

"Are you telling me to give you a second chance?" I asked him and he sighed nodded.

He can't just knock on my door and expect me to let him in again.

Remember he played me before for some stupid backstage pass, concert ticket for a stupid band I never heard of but I let him in then he was gone for a few years and now he wants to be in the picture again for what? For him to leave me again and broke my heart?

I looked away and smiled in disbelief, "You left without a word, you unfriended me online, you didn't even attend my graduation when I was expecting you for the slightest chance to even show up on my graduation and say that you'll never leave me ever again but no...you left.. and I had to suffer so bad because of you..so now you think it's alright to enter my life again." I said with my hands in the air out of frustration.

I'm sick of being anxious or scared to lose him again and I can't deal with it anymore.

I can feel his eyes on me but I avoided having eye contact with him because I can't fall into his stupid trap again.

I hate crying and I am tired. Imagine how tired I am.

He walk passed me and open the door. I didn't look at him at all and I was trying so hard not to give in. I will not throw myself at him again. I need to be strong now.

Strong. Independent. Diva. Woman. Mode. Activated.

"I love you Valerie and you know that." He said then shut the door behind me.

I broke down into tears and hug myself on the floor.

He's an asshole.

I. Am. A . Sucker.

....

Here I am with Athena drunk at 2 am in the morning at her place. Yes I flew all the way from New York to New Jersey.

It ain't that far but still why am I here with my eyes sweating, my chest hurts and my hair is a greasy mess.

I grab another red wine but Atty stopped me, "You had enough." She said and I sighed.

I hit my head on the table three times then I managed to look at her, "I had enough of pain in my chest, confusion in my head arghh!!! He's a load of bullshit." I groaned.

"You! You need to get your shit together. People said you must follow your heart." She said.

I rolled my eyes, "Follow my ass."

Atty knocked my head with her fist and I winced in a slight of pain, "What was that for?"

"You, you're an idiot and I! Need to sleep." She sang then she passed out on the couch.

....

Maybe I should be a hoe, a whore, a bitch that doesn't give a fuck about anyone.

I am stressed with my job, my love life and my parents.

Sometimes I wonder am I the problem or them?

I can't even focus with this stupid meeting because thanks to my future husband/ fiance gave me a ring, he gave me an engagement ring like a few days ago.

I am wearing it right now but with a heavy heart.

I never spoke to Chris after he showed up at my place. He kept sending me texts but I choose to ignore it.

I need to focus on my job.

I don't need to worry about these two men in my life.

Jesus loves me.

Men do not worth any of my time. I need to get these two stupid ass good looking, hot, buff and tall men out of my mind and focus on my career.

After the meeting is finished, I went back to my office to continue to be busy. Distracting myself from overthinking too much.

Atty told me that I should choose my happiness, that woman ships me with Chris so much that we can sail anytime soon.

This ain't it, I am still confused. I hate choosing, how dare these two men.

"Ms.Jenz? There is a client who wants to see you." Assistant Lee said and I nodded with a smile.

Fixing my suit and hair then I stand up straight to greet the man.

"Christopher." My eyes widened.

He gave me a little hi- wave with his hand then I took a deep breath.

I need to be professional for the sake of my image in this company.

"Damn Val, I didn't know you're good at ignoring a handsome guy like me." He said with his arms crossed.

I rolled my eyes, "What do you want."

"You." He said.

"You want my position?" I joked to see where this is going.

He smirked, "Athena told me you're engaged. I bet he's not as good looking as me."

I clicked my tongue, he is so full of himself and it annoys me because he's hella hot.

"Actually you're wrong, he is tall, neat and very handsome with good attitude. He respect me." I defended Felix.

Chris scoffed, "I bet he never fucked you."

My jaw dropped, I couldn't help but throw a pen at him. I wanna punch that stupid mouth of his.

"Language." I warned.

He giggled, "Fine, I just wanna have a little dinner with you tonight if that's alright? Please just one dinner."

I sighed, "Fine."

He smiled, dang I miss those smile. "See you tonight, I'll text you later where we will meet." He said then left.