Shadow Of The Nightshade

Blinded

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I might have gone a bit overboard. And I'm surprised that I just realized that now, when there was no space on the counter for the cake I had just baked.

In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. But I didn't.

I flashed Robin a sheepish smile, and he reflected the smile right back at me, making me wonder how long we had been tinkering around in here.

Part of me had forgotten most of the troubles that lurked outside this mountain, while the rest of me lived in constant fear of Gabriel barging in.

It was only a matter of time, I knew that. More people wanted me dead now, and I wasn't particularly inclined to resist them.

You couldn't blame me if I just wanted to enjoy the little peace I had now before surrendering myself to them.

I loved Robin, and he loved me. And that made everything alright, because I knew he'd forgive me when the time came.

'I think we should stop cooking. . .' his smile grew a little, 'seeing that we don't have a dining table or anything like that.'

I nodded silently in agreement and turned to the sink. It was just a matter of time before Batman dragged me into the interrogation room to question me about the killings, we both knew it.

And I could tell that they were watching me, making sure that I don't switch again and try to kill myself, or someone else.

But the silence helped me focus my thoughts and now I was surer than before that Gabriel was not in my head. He didn't know that I was here for now.

I set the baking pan I held on the least flour speckled portion of the floor and returned my attention to the sink.

'I've called the team,' Robin filled in the quiet with his voice, and I patiently listened, burning the inflections in his words into my mind, 'they'll be here by the time we're done. . . hopefully.'

I nodded again, this time because a sudden spell of dizziness knocked the breath out of my lungs. I blinked back the fatigue and held the edge of the sink to keep my body standing.

I couldn't let Robin know that my world had gotten a little dimmer. I smiled wryly as the familiar taste of blood filled my mouth.

I swallowed it and stared at the blurry images in front of me that refused to clear no matter how many times I blinked.

Robin didn't notice a thing when I reached for the sponge again and started scrubbing away. He didn't notice that I was slowly dying.

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'Wow, so much food,' Wally was undoubtedly pleased as he ran through the kitchen, the first to arrive.

'You can have as much as you want,' I smiled at him, trying not to pay attention to how he and everyone else were out of focus. I could handle it.

I had expected my blindness a long time ago when I took the antidote. It was a pleasant surprise to just be affected now, when I was almost done with all the people on the list Gabriel had given me.

The food was arranged on the counter like a buffet table, and for the first time in a long time, I was proud of what I had accomplished.

Wally was about to reach for a plate when Artemis slapped his hand.

I winced, knowing that I should have expected just as much from her. Robin stood be my side, silent but supportive. I had asked him not to interfere.

Maybe I wanted to put them in their place myself. . . or I wasn't in the mood to ruin his relationship with his friends. It didn't really matter.

I wanted to direct all their hatred at me, and Robin had nothing to do with that.

'What is the problem, Artemis?' I asked her calmly.

'I wouldn't be surprised if you cooked all this just to poison us and escape.'

'I'm not going to escape,' I told her patiently, 'and Robin is going to eat this food too. Why would I poison it?'

'You could have given him the antidote.'

'And you think Robin would just stand back and watch you guys get poisoned?'

'I don't know what to think.' Artemis shot him a dirty look that gave me a good estimate on how much his teammates' trust in him had deteriorated because of me. Especially with the way all of them said nothing in his defense, even Wally.

My eyes traced the outline of Aqualad's blurry figure. How could even the leader of their team not trust Robin?

Just what had happened while I was gone?

Robin took a step in the direction of the food. I pulled him back, knowing that even if he ate everything there would be no point.

They all knew that the food was not poisoned, they just wanted to torture me. And I guess I deserved it, I was a killer after all.

Time to get this over with. I swiped a fork from among the pile of cutlery I had set to the side to dry. 'I can eat the food if you want, Artemis.'

'So that you can pick out pieces that aren't poisoned? No way.' She grabbed an empty plate and started piling several dishes atop it. 'I'll serve you,' she shoved it at me.

I fumbled to grab it and just stared blankly at how much was there. I had to bite down the urge to remind them that if there was poison I would have taken the antidote myself. Instead I dug the fork into convoluted concoction of food. The sweet was mixed with the savory, cream with gravy. A piece of every single dish in one disgusting heap.

From beside me, I could tell that Robin was about to snap. But before he could, I started eating.

I had taken in worse and I'd been force fed better.

I barely tasted a thing, not that I wanted to. My mind was just focused on getting the job done, and that made me miss Don. He would have been cheering me on, helping forget the awful way my stomach turned, immediately rejecting the food.

He would have given me a mental pat on the back when I persevered and set down the plate in record time, all the while fighting to keep my growing nausea at bay.

He would have comforted me as I walked away without an extra word, ignoring the concerned glances Robin sent me.

And when I had reached Robin's room and locked the door behind me, he would have lifted my hair up as I painfully emptied everything the toilet with not one bit of regret.

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