Shadow Of The Nightshade

Gabriel's visit (I)

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Shadow

I watched Timothy, still alive and breathing. I watched him as he brushed wet strands of my hair away from my face. I watched the small smile that formed on his lips when he looked at me. I was able to see everything clearer than I had that day.

He had been happy to see me, I could tell now. He had missed me, I could see that in the gentle way he placed me in the chair, not caring one bit that I would wet his furniture. It was so out of character, seeing how much he cared about order.

The books on his shelf were arranged by color instead of alphabetically, he had kept his shoes facing east and when he went inside to get me a blanket, he had returned dry with a new set of clothes, new shoes and even a new hairstyle.

Timothy never liked a messed, but for some reason he liked me, the person wetting his expensive leather chair.

It didn't take long for me to wake up, though the moment is lost to me. The instant he took a step away from me, my hand shot out to grab his wrist.

He didn't even seen startled, like he expected that of me. I guess I would have expected it too. 'You're awake now?' he asked but didn't wait for a reply. Instead he placed his hand against my forehead. 'You don't have a fever, good?'

'Do you want something to drink?' he asked again but I didn't answer.

Suddenly, he smile widely. 'What about your favorite coffee, just the way you like it?'

I watched myself tilt my head in confusion and felt entirely disconnected from the scene because I had no memory of any of it.

'You'll have to let go of my hand first.'

And I did. I let him go. But I wish I hadn't. I wish I hadn't woken up. I wish I hadn't killed him.

He walked back with two mugs of coffee and handed me one before shuffling back into the chair behind him, leather and identical to mine.

He took a sip from the mug then watched me, this continued until he had finished his coffee. He returned and settle back into the chair, and this is where my memory apparently began.

It was at this moment that I realized that I was staring at the blue wall and had a cup of coffee in my hands and a blanket around me.

It was at this moment that I found myself lost in his blue eyes and spilled my coffee because I was shaking too much. It was at this moment that I had been overcome with guilt. The moment I realized that I couldn't kill him.

Immediately, he got up and took the no longer full mug out of my hands, going into the kitchen to get paper towels and mopping up my mess as well as the coffee on my hands.

'When will you talk to me?' he asked as he gentle turned my palm over and wiped my hand. I remember not being able to bear his gaze.

The me on the screen turned away.

'Shadow,' he grabbed that me gently by the sides of my face, and I almost reached out to my cheeks, imagining his touch all over again. 'Look at me.'

I watched as he leaned closer and hugged me, the sexual tension present in that moment lost in the recording.

'Tell me what's wrong.' he whispered into my hair.

'I have to kill you.' I watched a single tear roll down my cheek, not quite believing that it had fallen. I had been trained better.

'Okay.' he let go of me then walked out the room.

My heart lurched because I knew what was coming. I wanted to look away, as though it would somehow erase the past, but I couldn't. This was the last time I'd see him, the last time I'd see him smile and his bright eyes.