Stigma 2 | Mark Lee & Huang Xuxi

Chapter 16: Pause

Saturday - 6:45 am chicago / Sunday - 9:45 pm sk

It took a whole week, but I came to a conclusion. I needed to take a break from Mark. Everything was too much to bear.

All week he tried to contact me. But I ignored them all, there wasn't anything he could say that would make sense. The fact he kept so many things from me, it made no sense at all. I don't get how he thinks sending long messages could change anything. Nothing could change the fact I don't trust him anymore.

I was on a video call with Lucas before I talked to Mark. I messaged Mark earlier telling him I was ready to talk.

"Are you sure about this?" Lucas asked as I was lying down on my bed. My laptop was showing my side profile.

"What else can I do Lucas?" I think about all the other alternatives I thought of. None of them made sense.

Why should I accept the idea of him dating with someone? This isn't some sappy love story where I play as the girl acting like a martyr. I've been there, letting articles dictate my life and I'm not allowing that anymore. If he wants to go and agree with publicity stunts like that, then whatever. Being his girlfriend clearly doesn't affect his actions. He shouldn't influence mine either.

"It's just - I know you're hurt Minnie, but are you sure?" I turn my head to look at Lucas. And I nodded, "I'll be here, okay?"

"Thank you," I smiled and I felt my phone vibrate.

I look down at my phone, "He replied," I told Lucas and sat up straight.

"Update me okay? Take care," Lucas said and I nodded. I wave bye and he did as well.

I ended the video call with Lucas and just then Mark started calling.

I comb through my hair and took a deep breath.

I answered. The screen loaded for a moment and then it showed his face. He looked tired.

"Hi," Mark said with a small smile and I waved.

If I spoke too soon, I'd cry. So I paced myself before saying anything.

"Hey," I finally said mustering a smile as well.

"How are -"

"Let's get straight to the point," I said. He kept quiet and then nodded.

"I know there are a lot of things I kept from you and I'm sorry," he said and I decided to look away from the screen. I fiddled with my phone in my hands. "I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. I don't know how to make it up to you, but I want to. Just tell me what to do," I could feel a lump in my throat form. It was hard containing the tears. It was hard to stop myself from crying.

"Min Jee, may you look at me?" I shook my head, "Okay."

It was quiet. I didn't know how to tell him. I love him, of course I love him. But what he did was just ... It was too painful. I could barely look at him.

"Are you breaking up with me?" He asked and I took in a deep breath, "I understand if you want to, but I really hope you wouldn't."

I looked up and stared at the screen, "Mark," I said holding back the tears. "I don't know what else to do," I took a deep breath, "you hid so many things from me. How did you expect me to react? That I would be okay with it?"

He shook his head, "then what was going through your head Mark? What? I feel like I don't know you."

"Min Jee, I can't -"

"You can't explain it right now? I'm breaking up with you! And you still can't explain anything? Mark, there's nothing you can say or do, to make up for this," he was crying and I felt bad. But, enough was enough.

"I'm really sorry. Min Jee, please, I'm asking you, let's take a break, but not completely. I'll give you time away from me, from us. I -"

"Mark, don't you get it? We already have so much space between us. Let's completely break it off. You've been living in your own world, while I've been trying to live in mine and wondering about yours. Can't you see? I don't know what's going on with you anymore. Here I am, telling you how I am, leaving you text messages, waiting for you to respond and all this time you were with another girl? And what? It's part of your job? I need to understand that you need to do it?" He avoided looking at me and I looked away from the screen as well.

"Please, I just want to make it up to you," I shook my head.

I kept my gaze on my phone, "Mark, I tried. I tried to understand everything. I tried to understand why you had to keep it from me. I did my best to understand your side Mark. Even if I didn't respond to your texts, I still read them and tried to understand. But I just can't. I can't understand how you expect me to act like you haven't hid this from me and you're still hiding something. Tell me how this will work," I looked up at him. "Tell me how?" I wipe the tears that spilled.

"You don't have to do anything. I'll do all the work, just let me," I shook my head, "Please, it will work. Because we love each other, we -"

"Mark, you know it yourself. That this isn't the question of love, I know you love me, I don't doubt it. But, please understand me. I need this," I said and he was crying. It was the first time I have ever seen him cry so hard.

"I need you," he said and I shook my head, "Min Jee, I need you."

"Mark, please. This is for the best," he kept shaking his head and I took a deep breath, "I have to go."

"Min Jee, I'm not giving up on you," I closed my eyes and let him talk, "I love you."

"And I love you," I opened my eyes and looked at him, "take care please."

He kept quiet and I shut my laptop.

"I had to," I said to myself and I finally let the tears spill.

This is for the best.

He'll be okay. I'll be okay. We'll be okay. Eventually.

Saturday - 7:10 am chicago / Sunday - 10:10 pm sk

*Mark Lee sent you a message*

Mark Lee: I love you and I'll respect your decision. But, I will never ever let you go. I'm going to stay in love with you, no matter how long it takes. I will wait for you. It's you, it will always be you.

I'm sorry Mark, but I just can't trust your words anymore.

A/N: How are you?