Stigma 2 | Mark Lee & Huang Xuxi

Chapter 67: Dilemma

Lucas' POV - Tuesday - 10:12 pm

I turned to lie on my right. After a few seconds I turned to lie on my left. I sighed and lied on my back. I open my eyes and stared at the ceiling in the dark.

"I love him,"

I know, I already know that. But why did it still hurt?

Because I was hoping that eventually she would pick me. That maybe she'll realize how much I love her and choose to be with me.

"Lucas! Please!"

I shouldn't have done that to her. The way she looked as I left. I wish I could take it back.

This time I was the one that hurt her.

"Fuck!" I grabbed my pillow and threw it on the floor, "I'm such an asshole," I sat up and slightly bent my knees. I slouched and rubbed my eyes.

"I need to make this right," I hung my legs to the side of the bed. My hands placed on each side of my body, "I told her I would be there for her," I gazed at the ground.

I'm going to make this right. I turned on my bedside lamp and walked over to my desk chair. There was a white tee and a black cotton jacket on it. I wore the shirt and then the jacket.

For a moment I paused at my bedroom door. What if it's too late to apologize? What if she already hates me?

I shake my head and opened my bedroom door. I needed to go and see Min Jee. I had to make things right.

As I step out of my bedroom, I saw Mark about to go into his. My blood boiled, "Why?" I said aloud and he looked at me with a surprised expression, "Why couldn't you completely let her go, like you planned to?" I walk towards him and he stepped backwards, leaning on his bedroom door.

"Because I -"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I stepped away from him and headed towards the apartment's door.

"What's your problem?" Mark said as I was about to get shoes from the shoe rack.

I clenched my hands and turned to look at him, "You," I glared and he looked completely clueless, "You're my problem," I stepped forward and poked his chest. He staggered backward.

"It's not my fault if she doesn't love you," he said and I chuckled sarcastically.

"No, it's not. But it will be your fault if she gets hurt again," I looked down at him, "you said you were letting her go. Why make her hopeful again? Why bring her back in — in your swirl of lies and excuses?"

"I don't have to explain anything to you. She forgave me," he said trying to act tough, but his voice was shaky.

"You just don't get it," I shook my head as I stepped back, "you are taking advantage of her," I run my hand through my hair, "just when she's about to move on. You suddenly come creeping back and reeling her back in. Because you know she'll take you back," I sighed and stared at the ground, "if you truly love her, you would know that being away from you is the best option."

"I tried, didn't I?" Mark's voice cracked and I kept my gaze away from him, "I went away. I ignored her, but I just -"

"You just what?" I looked at him dully, "You were scared she'd move on? Scared she would finally be with someone else, that wasn't you? When will you ever put her first? Come on Mark, we've been through this so many times! You promise to be better, you promise to not hurt her and then you do! And who comes to her rescue? Who listens to her when she's heart broken and crying over you? Me! I'm the one there for her, every time you mess up! No matter how much you try, you're toxic for her! I'm not denying that you've tried. I'm not saying you don't love her, but you don't love her as much as I do!" I was growing mad by the second.