Stigma 2 | Mark Lee & Huang Xuxi

Chapter 57: Chaos

Contrary to the chapter title, this chapter is actually soft and fluffy. A break from the angst and drama.

Enjoy reading!

-

Sunday - 4:12 pm

Weeks went by since my incident with trying to remember my memories. Things were going smoothly. My headaches were less frequent and I wasn't as pressured to remember my lost memories. A few memories would come to my mind, and they would come when I was asleep. Since I got them when I was asleep, I was a little hesitant if they were actual memories or just dreams.

But luckily Betty helped me confirm whether they were dreams or memories. So as of now, I remembered the date I had with Lucas fully and the movie marathon with the members at Johnny's house. Besides those two, there were only fragments in my head.

After I remembered the date with Lucas, I finally understood why I felt deja vu when we almost kissed in the hospital. It was because after the date in the cafe, we almost kissed in the car. I remembered how confused I was back then, and how unsure I was if he was actually leaning to kiss me. But since I have information I lacked back then - the fact Lucas has feelings for me. I could finally confirm, that we indeed almost kissed in the car. And that would mean, I almost kissed Lucas twice. Which is way too many for my liking.

The movie marathon was a blissful memory that I recovered. I remembered laughing and joking around with everyone. I was extremely grateful that I remembered it, and it felt like it just happened. Every bits of it was a pleasure to relive. Taeil's small pep talk, the banter with the dreamies and the fact that was the start when I wanted to give Mark another chance.

Dr. Kim Soo Chul said during my latest check up that I was recovering well and I can do normal things. But he advised that I should be very cautious about my head getting hit. The bald spot on my head was starting to have stubble, but I kept wearing beanies, I was a little insecure about how my hair was uneven. Betty once joked that I should completely shave my head, which was actually tempting.

The only thing I didn't like recently this past weeks, was the fact I could only hangout with Mark and Lucas separately. I guess the two had an agreement. But all I wanted was things to go back to normal. Which is something I could only hope for and never grasp. Because how could normal happen, when normal was when I wasn't kidnapped and I didn't have a head injury?

Normal was practically thrown out the window the moment I was kidnapped. Which was a fact - that I had no memories of. All the bits and pieces of memories I had were all in Seoul, I have yet to recover the ones in Jeju. But frankly, I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to remember. Johnny and Betty could only tell me what happened, but I'm sure if I had the memories to match, it would be more traumatizing. Maybe it's a good thing I don't remember. Maybe I can live without having those memories back.

I stood inside my house as I was looking out the window. Staring at the members playing in our pool. Johnny called Dr. Kim Soo Chul to ask if I could swim, and he said no. I wasn't too disappointed, but it did seem inviting to swim with everyone else.

The house was in chaos. It was so rare to have all the members in the same place all at once, but they were all here. I don't know who decided it was a good idea to spend the day here - all I know is 21 people plus Betty and I were too many in one house.

They were all in my vacation home and I was too overwhelmed to process everything. I kept taking sips of water as I turned and saw the other members in the living room playing on our PS5. They shouted and jumped from their seats as they played a racing game.