we kiss in a shadow

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Not my story
Ao3 crystalsnowmins

Acceptance.

Yoongi has learned from childhood that acceptance is something that will slowly build up in life. Not everything and everybody has to be accepted right away, things are measured differently always. Acceptance is something that has to be gained rather than waiting for it to come to you. It's not easy being accepted, not in this civilization.

Since long now, Yoongi has accepted that there's not a single good ending for him and Jimin, never together. Perhaps when they are separated, maybe they will end up with a happy ending but when they are brought together, there's only an ominous feeling to life. Yoongi believes that even if individually he could get happiness, he doesn't want it. It's not true happiness that he gets with Jimin, so he doesn't want it.

Acceptance is a choice, truly. It's one of the hardest decision.

Yoongi had no choice when he was told that he'll be the heir of the king and lead the citizens when the King dies. He was given no say in it, he just accepted it. It's a choice, really, he could accept his fate and be the next King, or he could not accept his fate and still be the next King.

Acceptance is not a decision to choose a path in life, rather it's a thought. You accept things, you don't accept things, whatever it may be, the choices are already made for you. The fate has already set a path for you to follow, it's your decision to accept that path, even if you don't, eventually, you will have to chose a path that will lead to the same destination as always. You just need to accept the things in life, it wouldn't make a difference.

Yoongi had to accept the fact that no matter what, at least in this life, him and Jimin cannot bloom their love without any secrecy.

He accepted that fact because he tried not to accept it at first, tried to be positive for them, so that Jimin could feel at ease and smile a little more, but it ended up harming Jimin in more ways that he would like to think of. It's a struggle when you don't accept the fate's way.

So long, Yoongi has accepted his fate.

But that does not mean he is happy, or will continue to struggle for their love in secrecy, no, he will find a way. He will cheat fate and find a place where Jimin and Yoongi can openly show their love without the fear of people plotting to end them, end Jimin.

It is not even the younger's fault, Yoongi thinks, looking down at the said boy wrapped up in his arms, snoring lightly, mouth agape. If only Yoongi had a little restrain on his desire of loving Jimin, then, he believes, maybe the younger slave would have lived a prosperous life without any meddling from Yoongi.

But the Crown Prince is selfish, he wanted to love Jimin like nobody has and he wanted to be loved by the younger. It's wrong, he very well knows. A man shouldn't be with another man. A man is supposed to marry off with a woman who could provide heir.

Yoongi wants to scoffs at it, the things he has learnt from his scholar. Why can't a man love a man? He loves Jimin with his self being, every fiber in his body craves for Jimin's smiles and touches. He thinks he would die without Jimin, a life without younger is probably a life without air. He cannot possibly fathom a life without Jimin, he is too deep in.

He feels Jimin move to get closer to Yoongi, the bed is nearly small for two bodies occupying the space. Yoongi immediately wraps his lover closer and tighter to him. He cannot bring himself to sleep nowadays, every little sound bristling him in worry that somebody is outside of his chamber, waiting to ambush the two bodies occupying the bed. He does not worry for himself as much as he worries for his beloved.

"Cannot sleep, my Prince?" Jimin sleepily mumbles, voice groggy as he hums in Yoongi's chest.

"Just admiring you," Yoongi chose to lie, although he knows Jimin does not really believe him on this.

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