Yoonmin Oneshots

It comes and goes in waves

Not my story
Ao3 J_F_DragonfrostERERI01

The last time Yoongi had seen Jimin remains engraved into his mind.
It's a solid memory, so well preserved, like a skeleton in an iceberg, like a fossil set into the amber of his brain.
An echo of what once happened, a recollection so precious, it was hidden away into the back of his mind, taken out only on days where Yoongi found himself stuck, gazing into the distance through the window of his studio, eyes wandering to a time that once was, but is no more.
From that day, only dust and seashells remain. Only the smell of the ocean, and the view of brown hair blown by the wind, into a mess of dark locks that compete with the waves and tides.

Salt, sand, soft like the giggle that chimed along with the breeze that day.

" There is a swelling storm
And I'm caught up in the middle of it all
And it takes control of the person that I thought I was
The boy I used to know
But there is a light in the dark
And I feel its warmth
In my hands, in my heart
But why can't I hold on?"

It was such a sunny day, on the beach, with Jimin, both fourteen and twelve years old respectively, Yoongi's hair unbleached, his lungs free of smoke, his mind still innocent, his eyes still filled with light, his thoughts filled with dreams and questions.
What adventures shall I go on tomorrow ?
Where am I going to be next year ?
What school should I go to ?

He remembers the warm wind over his once full cheeks.
These questions have been replaced.

"It comes and goes in waves
It always does
Always does
We watch as our young hearts fade
Into the flood
Into the flood"

What should I eat tomorrow ? I only have five bucks left.
How much time do I have left before I have to turn in my assignment ?
What would mom say if she was still here ?

He remembers short chubby fingers wrapping around his, full peachy cheeks in a smile that made eyes disappear into crescents, a crooked tooth, small glasses, a pink sweater, full lips and a flush. Yoongi suddenly wants to go to the ocean again.

But he has five bucks left, and he needs to eat tomorrow.

"And the freedom of falling
The feeling I thought was set in stone
It slips through my fingers
I'm trying hard to let go
It comes and goes in waves
It comes and goes in waves
And carries us away"

So he takes the bus and goes to the beach anyways, even though he knows he shouldn't. He needs to feel the sun over his now sharp cheekbones, needs the wind through his bleached hair, needs the salt in his nostrils and the sand between his toes.
Ideally, he would need a pink sweater, and chubby fingers around his own.
But things don't work like that.
Jimin left with his parents that night. He left to Busan, back to his family, and after that Yoongi left to Seoul for his mother's medical care.
He'll need to pass on his presence, even though he still wishes for it, even seven years later, even after the pain faded and was replaced with worse stings, more hurt, many more heartbreaks.

Sometimes we want things to last only after they have stopped for good.

"And the freedom of falling
The feeling I thought was set in stone
It slips through my fingers
I'm trying hard to let go
It comes and goes in waves
It comes and goes in waves
And carries us away"

Yoongi takes off his shoes and manages to smile for the first time that week, genuinely for once. Because he feels a bit of what he felt that day again. He feels it in his nose, filling up his smoked up lungs,feels it creep up his throat and to his eyes that well up with tears as he scoffs, laughing bitterly yet it all feels so sweet and happy. He feels so good, he knows he shouldn't have came, kept his money, but it feels like he did the right thing, so he stops thinking about it for once and just breathes in.