Chapter 1.

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October 31, 1973

I came home late that afternoon, juggling a pumpkin in one hand, decorations in another. Children of the Grave blaring as Julian taught James how to carve a pumpkin the right way.

I walked into the kitchen and set the stuff down. "How are my two favorite boys?"

"Good. If only James could use a bloody knife properly." Julian whined.

I laughed. "Be careful now."

"Mommy can we go trick or teating??" James asked.

I sighed and sat at the table with them. "I couldnt get you a costume baby. But, we can just stay in and make popcorn and watch..."

"Reruns of Chiller theatre!?" Julian smiled. I laughed and nodded.

"Yes Jules. I bought some candy so..."

I was interrupted by them running over to the counter and grabbing the bags, tearing them open. I smiled and stood up, making my way to the living room, turning the record off and shutting the curtains.

..

Having the two boys all on my own was a handful. It was nice not having to pay for a babysitter anymore. Although a five dollar allowance a week was mandatory from Julian.

I layed on the sofa, my eyelids falling heavily as James layed in my arms, already sleeping. Julian sitting in front of the tv, staring in awe at the monsters destroying a whole city.

"Julian, I think we better get to bed now."

"Aww please just five more minutes?" He asked. I nodded and sat up, taking James into my bed. He snuggled with a pillow and snored softly. I walked back into the living room and stood next to Julian.

"Come on now. Time for bed."

He sighed and turned the tv off, standing up. I turned the lights off, made sure the door was locked and followed him to my room. Even though we had our seperate rooms, the boys loved sleeping in the same bed with me. It was becoming a habit.

I changed into my shorts and tank top, pulling the covers down. Julian came into the room, changed and snuggled with James as I wrapped my arms around them.

"G'night." I said sleepily.

"Night night." Julian answered, kissing my cheek.

This, was my new life.

...

"So mum, I was hoping to call dad today." Julian said pouring himself some cereal. I set my plate of food down and crossed my arms.

"If you're calling him, call from my office. I don't want him tracing my number."

"Come on mum, you're goin to have to face him sometime! James hasn't even met his own father!"

"Your father has been busy with his own life lately. I don't think his ex wife coming in unannounced with his long lost son is going to make things better."

"Oh come on it's not like he doesnt know about James." Julian said helping his brother pour milk into his bowl.

"I'd like to meet daddy." James smiled.

"See." Julian looked at me.

I shook my head and began eating my eggs.

"Even if I wanted to, my schedule is booked."

He pouted and nodded, eating in silence. I felt a little bad now. I knew he wanted me and John back together. He misses the old days when we'd all be together, just having fun, going into the studio and watching John play. Stayin in and having fun in the pool, the naps, the snuggling, the playful kisses. But things are different now. John's moved on. I've moved on. It isn't that easy anymore.

Julian got up and put his bowl away.

"I'm goin to get dressed."

I grabbed his arm and pulled him over to me. He looked down and sniffled.

"Julian look at me." I said. He looked up at me from under his eyelashes. I brushed my thumb over his eyebrows. "I'm sorry. I do love your father. I always will. But right now, it's just us. Lets make the most of it yeah?"

He nodded and hugged me. I smiled and squeezed him tight, kissing his cheek over and over again.

"That's my baby. Look, I was going to wait for christmas to show you but...."

I reached over and grabbed my purse, pulling out two tickets. He grabbed them and looked them over. Then he went crazy.

"Seriously!!!??" He yelled. James giggling and watching Julian run around the room before hugging me tight. "Thank you so much! My first concert!"

I laughed. "The first one isnt until the end of January babe. The second one is for mid February. I'm glad you love it."

"We get to go two times!? I love you mum! So so so so so so much!" He said kissing my cheek over and over again. "Will James be coming??"

"I'm not quite sure yet. If he does, he'll be with me at all times. And you will still be under my watch." I said poking his tummy as he laughed.

"Who are we going to see!?" James said running over and jumping into my lap.

"Black Sabbath you dimwit!" Julian said.

"Hey, no name calling." I said raising my eyebrows.

"I'm not a dimwit!"

"Are so!"

"Alright alright you two. Go brush your teeth and get dressed. I have to be in the office in an hour."

They rambled on, calling each other names and holding hands, making their way to their room. I smiled and shook my head, clearing up the table.

.....

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