In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 74.

Me and John arrived at the restaurant just in time. The dim lighting relaxed me as we were led to our table. It was nice to accept wine without feeling a bit guilty about it.

"Thank you John. For taking me out tonight."

"You deserve it love. I think we both do. As much as I love the lads, it's nice to be away from em every now and then."

I giggled. "Tell me about it. My fuckin tits are sore."

"My god Lucy. Ye keep me young." He laughed. I smiled and reached across the table for his hand. He took it and intertwined our fingers together.

We ordered our food and had a slow dance. The evening was one to remember. John was always so romantic when it came to things like this. The way he watched me as we talked. The way our eyes locked when we danced. His fingers moving up and down my arm as we kissed.

We were finishing our dessert when John remembered he had to pick up Sean from Yoko's. I agreed to join him since the Dakota was only a block away.

"So I was thinking." I said as we walked out of the restaurant.

"Thinkin about what?"

"We go home, make sure the boys are asleep, take a warm bath..." I gave him a coy smile. He smirked.

"I can't wait." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we walked down the lonely sidewalk.

John picked a flower off a small bush and tucked it behind my ear. I blushed and held onto him tighter.

"What time is it?" He asked as we made our way to the Dakota's entrance.

I grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch. "Eeeum, ten-fifty."

We heard a small commotion behind a bush and heard foosteps behind us. John turned around and stopped. I recognized the man from earlier.

"Mister Lennon." The man said flatly. John just nodded and returned to walking with me. That was until I jumped when the gunshots went off.

The loud noise made every sound fade from my mind. A loud ringing echoing in my ears. I dropped to my knees as John's body fell to the floor with a loud thud. I never saw so much blood in my life.

He gasped for air as I rested his head on my legs for support. People were shouting. The man with the gun stepping back as he watched the scene unfold. A man approaching him and yelling in his face. I couldn't pay attention to them. All that mattered to me was John. My love. My husband. The father of my children. The most important man in my life.

I shed tears as he looked up at me. My hand in his as he tried to speak. His mouth covered in blood. I tried wiping it away but it just kept coming. I removed his glasses and put them in my coat pocket, cradling his head in my hands.

"L...Lucy...I'm shot. I'm shot." He kept saying.

"Shhh John. I'm here." I whispered shakily. He stared into my eyes. I could see the fear. Fear for himself. Fear for me.

I just stared at him as the sirens got louder. An officer ran over and shook me into reality. I cried as he helped me up. Two officers helped John into the backseat of their car. I turned to see officers talking to the man who started all of this. He stared at me coldly before looking away.

..

"John...baby please look at me." I cried, taking his coat off. I didn't even care about getting blood on me. I just needed him to be okay.

I shut my eyes and shook my head. "John. Please baby talk to me." My voice trembled.

"Lucy...." he whispered. I looked at him and let the tears fall. I reached down and brushed my thumb over his eyebrows one last time. He shut his eyes and gave a small smile. That's when I knew.....he was gone.

...

By the time we reached the hospital, I couldn't speak. I couldn't even function right. John was hurriedly taken inside as I was promised he'd be taken care of. But I already knew. I saw it happen before my own eyes.

My chest hurt. My eyes full of tears. My head hurt from all the pain. I swallowed the lump in my throat and wiped my eyes. I noticed my dress stained in blood. My legs, my hands...

I was told to wait out in the hall. I took this time to make my way to a pay phone and shakily dial our apartment number. I had a hard time keeping still. My body shaking like a leaf.

I asked the sitter to take the boys to a hotel for the night. I just needed to be alone. Alone from the world.

It wasn't long until the doctor came over and sat me down. But I already knew. He died right in my arms. Nothing prepared me for the worst. The doctor handed me John's wedding ring. That's what broke me. That's when I realised this was real. John. My John. Gone from my world. From my life.

....

I was escorted home in a police car, to our apartment. When I entered the building, I felt alone. Empty. Lonely. Heartbroken and hurt. My god did it hurt.

I was about to take my coat off when I felt his glasses. I pulled them out and stared at them. Blood splattered across the lenses. My heart sank.

Locking the door, I set John's glasses and ring on the table. Then I stared at the ring on my finger.

"Forgive me John." I whispered.

I took it off and set it on the table next to his. I stripped my clothes off and made my way into the bathroom, filling the tub and laying in the warm water. In an instant, it turned red. I sniffled and held my face in my hands as I cried. My whimpers the only sound in the room.

"Forgive me." I cried, grabbing the razor off the edge of the sink.

I was interrupted by the sound of someone rushing into the room. I looked over as the sitter pulled the razor out of my hands and held me against her.

"I heard about the accident. I knew you'd come back here alone." She said stroking my hair. "I didn't want you doing anything rash."

"I just want to be with him again. He's alone. I'm alone."

"Shhhh. You're not alone missus Lennon. You have your beautiful two boys to hold onto. They need you. Think of them." She whispered.

I knew what she was saying was right. I couldn't leave my two boys. I couldn't abandoned them. I have a choice. John didn't. I'm not saying life isn't going to be easy for me but.....little by little, I knew one day, things would get better. I'll be able to smile again. To see the world just as I once did. John will always be in my heart...in my life. After all, I loved him more.

.............

..The End..