In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 36.

John just stood frozen and looked down at me. I wanted him to say something. To atleast make a sound. Instead, he just stepped back and let my hands go.

"Lucy I...you can't have another baby."

I pouted. "Why not?"

"Because you....you just can't."

I felt a little hurt at how much he seemed to be avoiding the subject. "John I want to have another baby. I love being a mother and, you know I always wanted a big family.."

"Lucy you just had Maxwell last year. Shouldn't you give it some time.."

"John I've had lots of time to think. I want to have another baby."

"What about us??"

"What about us John? You told me things will never be official. If I want to have another baby, I will have one." I said defensively. He shook his head.

"Lucy if you have another baby, this thing with us, will never happen. I can't believe how selfish you're being!"

"I'm being selfish!? It's my body John! You're going to let a little baby get in the way of this!? Why don't you just leave and go home to your family. While I stay here with mine." I crossed my arms.

"Pshh. Your family!? That little boy that's taking care of your kid isn't your family! And let's not forget I was once a part of your family!"

"Yeah and what did you do!? You went off and fuckin screwed the only friend I had and ran off with her while I was pregnant with our son! How do you think that made me feel!? Then, then you abandon poor little Julian! Leaving me and Paul to raise him! You think he doesn't remember all of that!?"

"Fuck off Lucy! Who are you to tell me about all the mistakes I've made!? You were a fuckin whore who ran off to any bloke who showed you attention! You ran to George, Paul and god even knows if you slept with Richard! That's all you were good for! And that's all you're good for now!" He yelled.

"Get out of my home John. Just get out." I said angrily. He grabbed his coat and left, slamming the door. This caused Maxwell to start crying. I sighed and made my way into my room, picking my Maxwell and laying him in bed with me. He stopped crying and just looked at me, reaching up to touch my face. I gave him a small smile and took his hand in mine.

"Would you mind if I had another baby? You'd be a big brother." I said softly. He just giggled and chewed on the blanket.

"Mum?"

I turned to see Julian standing in the open doorway. He came over and sat on the bed.

"I heard you and dad 'aving a tiff. Is that what this is about? You wanting another baby?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"No. If you want another baby, then have another one. I'll be here to take care of it too."

I smiled and leaned over, kissing his cheek. "You're so sweet Jules. If only there was more you in your father. He just makes me so angry sometimes. I knew this would start something."

"Don't let dad ruin things for you. Just do what ye want to do. It's your life mum. Make it count." He looked down at Max and sighed. "Who will the father be?"

I laid back and stared at the ceiling. "I haven't even told Andrew about it. He knows how much I want another baby though. Your father seems to be against the idea. The problem is that, they both have their own families and lives to deal with. What have I gotten myself into." I groaned.