In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 20.

Seeing Paul again really helped me relax and feel like a normal human being again. Not swept up into some love affair, or being the other woman again. But just being Lucy Daniels.

Before the show, Paul introduced me to his band, his wife and a few friends. I had to admit, even though me and Paul shared lots of memories, both intimate and friendly, we were right where we needed to be. I was happy he was happy. He made a life of his own. On his own that is. Without me, without the direction of John. Just Paul, All on his own. Still doing what he loves and having a family to go home to at the end of the tour. He had it all.

Paul handed me a spliff, lighting it for me and watching me take a long drag before handing it off to him. The rest of the crew and band members were getting ready as me and Paul sat backstage on a sofa, in a lonely room. I brought my knees up to my chest and grabbed the joint from his fingers as he offered.

"So erm, I heard about James. I'm terribly sorry. I wanted to call ye. I did actually but, I was informed ye left the magazine. There was no address or number to find ye."

I nodded. "Yeah um, I moved to New York. The magazine will be moving to the big city in a year. I just need some time alone you know? Just live a life on my own. Well, without the stresses of having work. Plus, I'm being Well taken care of." I chuckled uneasily. Paul nodded understandingly and sighed.

"Are ye with anyone? I mean...ye know. Just a little curious."

I shrugged. "In a way. John's taken good care of me."

He just gave a simple, "Oh" and didn't speak. I looked at him, studying his expression.

"Does that bother you?"

"Nah. Well, A little if I'm bein honest. Lucy...why?"

I ran my fingers through my hair and chewed on the inside of my cheek before speaking. "I can't leave him Paul. I love him. He's been so good to me and...after James's death...he was the shoulder to lean on and he welcomed me into his life again."

"He still married to what's 'er face?" He asked flatly. I nodded. He sighed and  scratched his forehead. "That woman is a fuckin leech. I'd watch out if I were you. She managed to stir trouble up between John and his mates in the studio, just imagine what she can do to you. John always chooses her. She's not like Cynthia. Yoko will intimidate you. Shell get ye thinkin she's a fuckin cupcake. But she'll always have the upper hand when it comes to John."

I stayed silent, listening to his words.

"But I dunno. I've seen how ye are with that Lennon. He follows you like a fuckin lost puppy. That bloke adores you."

I smiled and began to laugh. Paul watched me, breaking a smile himself.

"What?"

I shook my head. "Remember back in Hamburg?? George told me you called me a succubus that was controlling John. Wanna know something funny?"

"Hmm?"

"George told me the same thing about Yoko when I saw him last year. And I wonder, maybe I finally crossed someone who won't be so willing to give into my bullshit. And you know what? It scares me."

Paul grabbed the untouched spliff out from my finger and put it out. "I think you deserve John more than anyone in this world. What I can't bloody understand is what is so fuckin special about him?? I mean yeah he's a bit good lookin, can sweet talk any bird into having a shag, has money...but what do ye get out of chasing him around?"

I smiled and looked down at the carpeted floor. "He loves me. That's all."

Paul just shrugged and shook his head. "I love Ye. Why couldn't..."

I could sense the jealousy starting to show. In his face, the way he spoke now...it was pure, unwanted, humiliating jealousy.

"Paulie. You're too good for me. You can do better. And you have! I'm happy for you." I smiled. I leaned over to kiss his cheek, but at the last moment, he turned his face to meet my lips with his. I didn't even freeze. I kissed him instantly, my lipstick smearing on his soft, juicy lips. They were enticing and inviting.

In a swift instant, he shot up from the sofa, breaking free from our kiss. I sat back and watched him lock the door. Without a word, He walked over to me, unzipping his jeans. I licked my lips, knowing what he wanted. And I was ready to give.

..

Watching Paul on stage was a fuckin thrill. He was amazing as always. Now, with a new kind of freedom that showed in his happiness. When he sang, when he played. All the things he couldn't do when he was a Beatle. I noticed this same kind of behaviour with George. Although Paul was much more tamed than little Geo. God I missed fucking George.

It was a little after nine in the evening when the show finished. It was getting late and I had a doctor's appointment in the morning.

I made my way backstage again and found Paul chatting with a few guys. He broke away from their conversation to come to me. I smiled and wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead.

"You were amazing up there."

"Thanks love! Look, were 'avin a few drinks at a pub nearby. Ye wanna come??" He asked hopeful. I gave him a small smile.

"I have a thing in the morning Paul. I can't."

"Why not?? What's more important than goin out and having a few drinks with Paul McCartney?" He winked. I giggled and sighed.

"I have a doctor's appointment."

His face fell to concern. "Are ye alright?? You're not goin through depression again are ye? Fuckin hell I'm sure ye are. I mean after James died, that must have been devastating..."

"I'm pregnant." I interrupted. He stayed still. His eyes darting to my stomach. I cracked a smile. "I'm five months to be exact." I grabbed his hand, placing it over my stomach. He smiled, feeling the small bump.

"Holy...congrats." he said kissing my cheek.

"Thank you Paul. It's just a routine check up. Nothing bad. But, I have been having bad migraines again. The doctor might put me on some medication."

"Ye don't think it's starting again? Ye know..."

I shrugged. "I dunno it could just be the pregnancy mood swings."

He nodded. "I hope so. Look um, let me drive ye home. I mean if you need one." He said. I nodded.

"I'd like that Paul. But um, wouldn't the rest wonder..."

"I'll just tell em I'll meet them at the pub. Come on."

We both made our way out the back, to his waiting vehicle.

..

The drive was nice. It wasn't long, but...it was peaceful. I missed Paul an awful lot. And being with him again was a fuckin joy.

I gave him directions, and soon we were parked outside my home. I turned to him. "So um, this is me. D'you want to come in? I mean just to talk a little more?"

I could tell he had to think about it. Either go back, act like all of this never happened, or Come into my new life, and slowly be sucked back in. Then, he nodded.

"Alright. Not too long though." He said as we got out of the vehicle.

We walked into the small yard, leading up to the door. I grabbed the keys out of my purse, and just as I was unlocking the door, We heard a voice behind us.

"Paul??" I turned around to see John, hands in pocket, looking nervous as hell.

......