In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 42.

Three months later

October 8, 1978

"I got a job offer from Playboy." I said reaching over the table for the salt. John looked at me and smirked. I laughed

"As an editor. For the magazine. You know people actually read the articles."

"Yeah well, nobody I know."

I made a face and sat back in my seat. "Anyways, I dunno if I'm going to take it. I also go an offer from the Times. Also one from NME. I'd have to move for that one. But, I dunno."

John just looked at me and blinked. I blushed.

"What?"

He shrugged and finished his eggs. "Its just seein how all these different companies and magazines want you and your willing to just blow em off. People would kill to have offers like that."

"Yeah well, they're not in my position. I've worked with Andrew for years and years and....the thought of having another partner is just..." I trailed off and stared ahead.

"Look Lucy, I'm really proud of the fact you've managed to hold things together. You've been a trooper and to have such a loss the way you did..it'd break others apart deeply."

"Yeah well, not every one has John Lennon to console them." I giggled.

He smiled and leaned in, kissing me. The taste of coffee lingered on his lips as I kissed back. Julian walked in and scoffed. We pulled away and looked at him.

"Glass Jules." I said before he could drink the milk out of the carton. He rolled his eyes and obeyed.

"So Julian, how was school?" John asked.

"It was alright. Not much to it. Got an award for attendance. Dunno why I need a bloody award for that." Julian muttered as he sat across from us.

"Well, I think it's great." I stood up and cleared the table.

"How's your mum?" John asked.

"She's alright. Got herself married."

John just stayed silent and nodded. I could feel the tension and decided to break it.

"So um, we should do something tonight. I mean tomorrow is your birthday, your wife comes back...I'd like to celebrate." I smiled. John stood up and kissed my cheek as he passed by to put his plate in the sink.

"I'd love that Luce. Where would we go?"

I shrugged. "We could do something here. I um, have a visitor coming over tonight."

"Yeah? Who?"

I smiled. "You'll just have to wait and see yeah?"

He made a face and flicked the side of my head. "Tease. I gotta run. I 'ave an interview in a few. Thanks for breakfast."

"You're welcome. What time will you be back?" I asked.

"Probably three." He pulled me by the hand out the door. I giggled as he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me hard. I hummed and moved my fingers into his hair. His hands moving up my legs, under my robe, moving between my legs. I pulled back and pulled his hands away slowly.

"John I...I can't. Not yet." I whispered. He sighed in frustration and pulled away.

"It doesn't make you a bad person to be intimate with another bloke. Its been well over four months and you still won't let me touch you. Ye act like I'm a stranger."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "John I...I'm sorry. Besides, it's not like we're anything besides friends. You've been so good to me and once sex is involved...." I shook my head and looked down the empty hall. "I don't want to get attached. This way is better."

He bit his lip and nodded. "I gotta go. See ye later huh?"

He turned away and stormed down the hall.

"John!" I called out. He ignored me and kept walking.

..

Julian layed on the grass, playing with Sean and Maxwell as I layed the flowers on Andrew's grave.

"I think it's time we have a little talk Stephens. It's funny how things turn around you know? I could never get over John and...my life wouldn't move on because of him. Now, it's you I can't get over. Would you forgive me if I did move on? I guess what I'm asking is...would you forgive me if I moved on with him."

I stared at his name on the gravestone, as if he'd answer back. Biting my lip, I looked up at the sky as it began to rain. Julian and the boys screaming in delight as they goofed around. I smiled.

"I'll take that as a no. I love you Andrew. I always will. Remember that night at the Sabaath concert when you saved me? I thought my cries and prayers for help were unheard and useless. But then...you showed. You saved me." I took a breath and let the rain soak me. "This may seem silly or stupid but....sometimes I think you're my guardian Angel."

"Mum it's getting cold!" Julian yelled. I looked over at the boys as they stood under a tree.

"Go wait in the car!"

They ran off as I leaned forward and kissed the stone. "I love you. I'd like to know what happens when we die. Do we get reincarnated? Start a new life? Or do we just start over and keep trying and trying until we get it right? Will you be waiting for me on the other side? Or do we stay stuck?"

There was a loud thunder. I sighed. "Is that your way of telling me to shut up?" I smiled. "I have to go. I'll come back tomorrow. Goodnight Andrew."

I stood up and ran to the car, getting inside and letting my body heat up the entire drive back home.

..

11:50 pm

We waited. And waited. And waited for hours. John never showed up. Julian and the boys fell asleep in their room as I put the food and cake away. I sniffled and couldn't help but to feel hurt. After spending all day decorating, baking and cooking. It meant nothing.

I cleaned the dishes and had myself a drink of liquor from the top shelf. I knew where John hid it. Sitting on the sofa and watching tv, I didn't even move when the front door opened and shut.

"Hi." He said simply. I looked at him.

"Hey. There's food in the oven."

He looked around at the decorated room. "Ye did all this for me?"

I quickly wiped the tear and sniffled. "Um, yeah. The boys did most of it. Doesn't matter to you so you shouldn't give a shit."

He came around, sitting beside me. "Don't say that Lucy. I got tied up with a few things. I told ye I'd be busy today. I'm sorry I missed everything. I really am."

I pouted and looked down at my feet. He nudged my chin up to look at him. "I'm sorry."

I looked into his eyes and nodded. He pecked my lips softly, looking into my eyes, doing it again and again and again, until we were kissing and holding one another. I moaned as he slid his hands down my arms, linking his fingers with mine. I gasped as he moved his mouth to my neck, nipping at my skin with his teeth.

Then, there was a knock at the door. John groaned and pulled away. I sat up and fixed myself. He watched me get up and take a deep breath before opening the door. A smile spread across my face, jumping into his arms.

I was soon set down as John walked over and stopped in his tracks. "George? What the fuckin hell are you doin 'ere??"

......