In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 34.

"I see you and John are together. Again." Andrew said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. To be honest, I didn't blame him. He's watched me breakdown, get hurt, struggle and practically lose my mind. All because of John. Seeing us together again must have been disappointing.

I turned to John. "Just one second."

He nodded and left the room with Max. I pulled Andrew into the kitchen and was about to speak until I saw Julian standing next to us, trying to eavesdrop.

"Julian can you go watch tv or something?"

"I 'ave dishes to attend.."

"Please?" I interrupted. He mumbled and left the room. I sighed and looked up at Andrew. His expression full of questions. "Look, I know this is a surprise to you. It is for me too."

"It's not really a surprise. It's more of a....disappointment. Lucy after everything he's put you through.."

"Let me finish."

"No Lucy! I'm tired of this! Every fucking time he comes around..."

"Shhh." I whispered. He talked quietly.

"..every time he comes around, you just welcome him back with open arms. I trust that you know what you're doing. But I'm not going to just stay out of this entire thing you have going on with him."

"Andrew I make my own choices. I love John. Even though he's not perfect, he's been everything to me."

"And I understand that. Doesn't mean I have to stand around, watching you destroy yourself..again."

I sighed and crossed my arms. "Andrew I know you care for me. I care for you too. I just...I can't leave him now. He's not happy."

"What about you? I know you want the best for him. But what if he just plays around with you for awhile and then leaves off with his wife when he's done with you?"

"It's not like that Andrew."

"Then what is this? A forbidden love affair that was always meant to be?? Lucy you're not seventeen anymore. You have to make reasonable decisions not only for you. But for Maxwell. He's your son. Atleast you know for sure he'll be in your life!"

"This is all I have Andrew! This is all I have left of me!" I yelled quietly. I felt my face heating up in tears. "You think I like being that girl everyone just uses? You think I ever wanted that!?"

"Then why don't you change that!? It's not too late for you to be happy!"

"I am happy Andrew! Even if I have to be that fuckin bitch who ruins a marriage! I just want to be the one girl a guy devotes himself to. I might get hurt again. But the happiness I got out of it was worth any fucking pain I get." I sniffled and wiped my tears as John walked in the room. I took a breath and gave him a small smile.

"I think I should go now." He said looking at me and Andrew. I nodded.

"I'll walk with you out." I said grabbing my coat. I gave Andrew the look not to start anything and made my way out the door with John.

..

"So em, are we not going to talk about the fact you were crying back there.."

"It was nothing John. Just a small arguement. I can take care of myself."

"Can you?" He stopped in his tracks, looking down at me. I nodded, but shook my head.

"What am I getting myself into John? We both know the truth. This, us, will never be an official thing. Will it?"