In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 30.

Five Months Later

"Andrew be careful!" I yelled as he swung Maxwell into the air. I was having a heart attack. Maxwell laughing is little heart out.

"See! He likes it. Don't you??" Andrew said kissing Max's cheek over and over again. I set my pencil down.

"Max has a schedule. He should be having lunch right now, then a diaper change, then a nap, then play time, another feeding, then bed time. So, get to it daddy."

Andrew made a face and set Max to crawl around on the floor. "Oh come on Lucy. Let the little one be free and do what he wants. Remember when we went to Woodstock in sixty-nine and you told me you'd let your children roam free and do what they want?? Where's that Lucy?"

I crossed my arms. "That Lucy did a lot, and I mean a lot of acid those two days. I don't remember much."

"Well I do. Look at this." He picked Max up and held him in front of my face. "Do you want this growing up with rules and having schedules?? Do you??"

I couldn't help but to smile at Max's chubby face. He looked so innocent and full of wonder.

"Fine. Whatever Maxwell wants to do, he can do. But, if my life becomes a tired mess, you're getting it big time mister." I said standing up and poking Andrew's chest.

..

I never replied to John's letter. I didn't even know what to say. Although I did keep it close to to my bed every night. Reading those words over and over again made me feel like he was close. Like he'd just appear out of nowhere and hold me again. But these feelings remaind a secret. I didn't tell anyone. I just had to carry on as if nothing happened.

It was almost mid September and my life was busier than ever. Raising little Maxwell was a handful. Also a budget breaker. I still had to pay rent. Andrew helped a bit despite my protests. I ended up being able to sell a few of my artwork at a small gallery. I was more excited at the fact people actually liked my work, than excited about the money.

I also never got a letter from George. I suppose it was for the best we cut ties for now. To be honest, I really didn't know what was going to happen if I saw John again. I understood what he meant in his letter when he said, It felt as if I disappeared from the world. Because I felt the exact same way about him.

..

"Are you sure you have everything??" I asked as Andrew held Max in his arms. He rolled his eyes and groaned.

"For the millionth time, Yes!"

I handed him the small bag full of Max's toys and accesories. Andrew was taking Maxwell down to meet his family. I was nervous to let Max go but, I knew he'd be in good hands. Thankfully, it was just a small drive up north. No planes.

"We'll be staying the weekend alright? You think you'll survive till then??" Andrew laughed, strapping Max into the backseat. I nodded and wiped my eyes.

"I think so. Take care of him alright?"

"Are you crying??"

"Shut up!" I said defensively, looking away.

Andrew kissed my cheek and looked at me. "Max will be alright. I'll take good care of him. He'll be with family, and of course, his daddy. I promise, this weekend will just fly by."

I sighed. "Alright. I'll be good okay? Have a good time." I said stepping back. He nodded and made his way around the car, to the drivers seat.

"I love you Lucy." He smiled.

"I love you too." I waved. He got inside the vehicle and soon, they were off. I stood in the parking lot, watching as the car disappeared around the corner.

I made my way back upstairs and slowed down before opening the front foor. I found a small note on the door with a single rose. I took it and went inside. Flicking on the lights, I plopped down on the sofa, opening the folded paper.

Lucy,
     I'm sorry I missed you. I guess I arrived sooner than I thought...but nonetheless, grateful. Being outside your door, so close yet far. Did you keep an open mind? Or have you forgotten?
     Love, John.

I couldn't help but to walk over to the door and open it. Nothing. Nobody. For some reason I almost assumed he'd be there waiting. Appear out of nowhere just for me.

"Don't be silly Lucy." I mumbled to myself, shutting the door.

..

As the weekend passed, I grew more and more lonely. Not hearing any cries or laughter from Maxwell, reminded me just how much I need him. Although I did get my fair share of alone time. Hot baths, smoking, sleep, and painting really helped pass the hours.

..

It was Sunday afternoon when I took a drink of my hot tea and resumed the finishing touches on my latest painting. I was extremely excited to be having a small art show at the gallery this weekend. Nothing big, but it was a start. I was proud of myself to be honest.

There was a knock on the door, making me jump. Setting my brush down, I laughed to myself and shook my head. Wiping my hands on my shirt.

"Andrew you're earlier than I expected! How's our little Maxwell been..." I trailed off, opening the door to see nobody in sight, but a bouquet of flowers on the ground.

I blinked and shrugged going back inside. I smiled at the flowers, setting them down on the table.

Lucy,
     Happy Birthday.
              Love, John.

I felt my face get hot as I read the note. These small visits to my door were beginning to be the highlight of my life. And to be honest, I hope they never end.

....