In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 16.

Three Day's Later

I walked into my apartment alone. Looking around at the decorated living room. The faint smell of gingerbread filling the air. Unopened gifts under the tree.

I set my bags down and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the full bottle of Jack Daniels and tossing the cap off, taking a long drink. The liquid burning my throat. I took my sunglasses off that hid my red eyes. I couldn't cope. I didn't want to. I didn't need to. The world fucked me over once again. Making a mess of me. Breaking me apart.

I sat on the sofa alone in the dark room, crying to myself. I swallowed the lump in my throat and just cried my heart out. I couldn't stand to live anymore. I ignored all calls. I knew he wanted to check on me. He wanted to make sure I didn't hurt myself. But honestly, that's all I could do to ease the pain.

I shut all the curtains. Locked the doors. I made my way into the restroom, grabbed all the pills in the medicine cabinet and just took four from all five bottles, washing them down with the alcohol. Stumbling into my bedroom, everything became a blur. The cool sheets engulfing my body into it's comfort. Everything turning into wanting darkness.

..

He died right on the scene. Atleast that's what the police told me. He was hit by a car. Crossing the street on his way home. Julian told me he wanted to come back to mommy and daddy. He wanted to play with his new toys and spend some time with his new brother.

I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell him I loved him one last time. The pain he must have felt. The worry. How scared he was. One thing I knew for sure. I'll never celebrate Christmas again.

......