In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 15.

9:15 am

I giggled watching the boys devour their gifts while little Sean slept in my arms. John snapped a few pictures, which ended with me hiding my face and telling him I looked like a mess. Of course, he disagreed just to get me to smile. I didn't believe him, but I knew he meant it.

"Mommy I got you this!" James yelled, throwning a box at me. I laughed and caught it with my free hand.

"Thank you baby. John can you hold Sean?"

"Yeah no problem." He grabbed him out of my arms. I sat criss cross on the floor next to Julian, opening my gift. I smiled and pulled out a mug that said, Merry Christmas to the best mommy in the world! I love you! -James.

I noticed it was messily written in glitter glue with little snowflakes drawn on. There was candy inside. To people it may not be much, but to me it was the best little gift in the world.

"Thank you James. I'll use this as long as I live." I said kissing his cheek.

"Now open mine!" Julian yelled. He handed me a small package and waited.

I opened it and pulled out two movie tickets for some new Horror film. I bit my lip.

"Ooh. Erm, thank you Julian! Wait a minute, these are due in an hour!" I said reading the time.

"Well ye know, me and James aren't doin anything.." Julian suggested quietly. I smiled and handed them to him.

"Go on. Get dressed." I said kissing his cheek. They smiled and ran out of the room excitedly. "I think the boys bought their own present this year."

"Yeah well, let em go. We need to clean all this up anyways. Put things away and um...get a little more alone time." He said looking at me. I giggled and crawled over to him, resting my head in his lap.

"Last night wasn't enough for Lennon?" I teased.

"You should know the answer already love." He winked. I smiled and leaned up, kissing him softly. Soon, little Sean woke up, making noises. I pulled him into my arms and took him away for a diaper change. After I finished and put him to nap, I made my way over to James and bundled him up.

"Great. The puffball is back." Julian groaned. I made a face.

"Leave your brother alone. James, you stay bundled. Stay together alright? If something happens, call nine one one, or call here. You have the number. And if..."

"I know I know mum. Were goin to be late!" Julian whined. I kissed both of them and sent them on their way.

"Julian!" I shouted. He turned around. "Take care of your brother!" I said raising my eyebrows. He rolled his eyes and nodded. I closed the door and sighed.

..

10:30 am

After cleaning up and putting things away, I decided to shower and make some breakfast. I was cooking some eggs, when I felt arms wrap around my waist.

"Coming into a room to see you makes me the happiest bloke in the world. Ye know that?"

I giggled. "It never takes much for me to remember, why I chose you in the first place."

I turned to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I looked over his face and smiled. "You were always my cute little teddy boy."

He laughed and made a face. "Teds aren't supposed to be cute."

"Yeah well, you were adorable." I pecked his lips. He reached behind himself and handed me a small present.

"Didn't think I'd forget about you did ye?" He said. I took it, tearing the paper off, and stopped when I noticed it was a ring box. I opened it and smiled.

"John I...." I trailed off. He took the ring out and slid it on my finger.

"This is the ring you deserve. I never should have hurt you." He stroked the side of my face and kissed me. I had no words. All I could do was kiss back. He always knew how to break me.

"John we...can't. I can't accept this. As much as I love you, this isn't right. Last night was amazing. All of us together is amazing. But...I can't just let you throw it all away. For an old love. For someone who doesn't deserve happiness."

"You do deserve happiness Lucy. You deserve to feel loved. To be loved. And I love you."

"I know you do. But, we can't just jump into each others arms and expect everything to be the way they used to be. I have James to take care of. You have Sean, a wife. Julian is getting old enough to know exactly what is going on. And...I dunno if I'm ready for that. We have seperate lives. I live all the way in San Francisco and you live here in New York. You can't just leave Yoko. I know you love her. You should. Don't break another heart."

He stayed quiet and nodded. "All I wanted was for us to start over again."

I felt my heart break in two. "We can. Just...differently. I love you so much John. I'll always be in your life. I promise."

"And I'll always be in yours. To touch and kiss you again just...reminded me of how beautiful you are."

I smiled and looked at the ring on my finger. "I'll never take this off. We deserve to be happy John. Even if it means being with different people. Just...kiss me again." I said looking into his eyes. Without hesitation, he pressed his lips on mine.

..

1:30 pm

After breakfast, I sat on the sofa, staring at the clock and worried out of my mind. It's been four hours and the boys haven't been back yet. John left about twenty minutes ago to check if they were still at the theatre. I knew I shouldn't have left them alone. I'm so fuckin stupid!

I decided to calm myself by holding Sean, and feeding him. He smiled at me, playing with my hair as I cradled him. I took a deep breath and sat on the sofa again, bringing my knees halfway to my chest, resting Sean on them to face me. I smiled as he wrapped his tiny hand around my finger.

"They're both okay. Maybe they decided to see another film. That's it. Julian took some extra money and they just forgot to call. James is alright. Julian promised he'd take good care of his brother. Please God. You wouldn't let anything happen to my little boys. Not on Christmas." I said to myself.

I sat alone with a sleeping Sean, the clock ticking, driving me crazy. I decided to put Sean in his crib and pace back and forth in the living room.

..

2:00 pm

A pack of cigarettes later, no phone call, no John....I was ready to have a heart attack. I was ready to grab the phone to make a call when the phone rang. I answered it quickly.

"John??" I asked impatiently.

"Lucy?? I'm coming by to pick ye up.  James he's...in the hospital."

My heart was beating hard against my chest. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "John please tell me he's alright."

It was silent on the other end, until he spoke. "I can't say much right now. I'm coming to pick ye up. Be ready." Then silence.

I held back my tears and ran to the bedroom, hurriedly getting dressed. My hands were too shakey for me to even put makeup on. It wasn't long until John came through the front door, calling my name. I ran over and tried to hold myself together.

"John just...tell me he's alright. Tell me my baby is fine." I pleaded. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tight. I burst out crying, not wanting to believe the truth.

......