Avengers Imagines (Part One)

Bucky Barnes X Reader - Coffee For Your Head

A/N - This chapter is based on the song 'death bed (coffee for your head)' by Powfu ft Beabadoobee. Last time I wrote about Bucky, i broke my own heart by making him and utter asshole... this time I broke it again for very different reasons. I hope you all enjoy it. 

P.s. There is a trigger warning here for death and terminal illness.

Life with Bucky had been going pretty perfectly. It had become this wonderful domestic lifestyle that left you both happier than you had ever thought possible. You had loved falling into a routine with him. Going on walks together and watching films. You'd even found that helping his with his nightmares was never as bad as you would have expected. 

And then Bucky had started getting sick. At first, he'd just been tired a lot, nothing that unusual. He lived a pretty physical life and sometimes he over did it in the gym. It had been easy to explain away as normal fatigue. But then he'd gotten this cough. You'd assumed it was a cold at first, and for the first three weeks you'd just ignored it. After that you'd become a little concerned. When he'd started losing weight and complaining, semi-regularly, about stomach pain you'd gotten a little scared and ordered him to go for a doctor's appointment. 

A few weeks later, after a couple of tests, you'd gone with him for his results. You hadn't thought he would be nervous. He was superhero and faced guns and bad guys all the time, but this was something different. The way he clung onto your hand like he thought you might dart from the room and leave him alone was starting to scare you. 

"Morning, Mr Barnes," the doctor had started, coming to sit across the desk from you, and offering a weak smile. It was then that you knew something was wrong. You'd been going to the same doctor for years, and he was always one of the happiest men you had ever known, but now, even he looked a little pained. "As you know, we had to run a lot of tests since I saw you last." Bucky nodded, his hand tightening in yours, and you shifted to place your free hand on his knee. "Unfortunately, the tests didn't come back with the results we were hoping for," he continued, and you felt your breath catch in your throat.

"What does that mean?" Bucky's voice was thick, and you had to bite down on your lips to stop the whimper that wanted to escape you. 

"The scan found tumours in both your Pancreas and your Lungs. We are under the impression that the radiation from the serum you were given may have sped up the spread of the cancerous cells." 

There it was. Cancer. Your hand released Bucky's knee, lifting to wipe at the tears that were beginning to form in your eyes. "But we can do something about it, right?" you murmured, sniffing to get rid of the thickness in your voice. "He can have chemo, or something, right?" 

The doctor swallowed, and without him even having to say a word, you knew the answer. "I'm afraid the tumours seem to be growing at a much faster speed than they would in a normal cancer patient. The most we can do is offer Palliative treatments in order to make life as comfortable as possible."

"How long?" Bucky uttered. God, you didn't want to know the answer. How could you just go back to your normal life if you knew that he could be gone soon. 

"We aren't sure. It could be anywhere between a month and a year. I would suggest making the most of your time together." 

*Time Skip*

You'd both cried that night, huddled together on the sofa and just wishing life could be different. There had been a time where you had imagined your lives together, sitting in a similar position. You would speak for hours about the house you would buy together and the wedding you would have. You'd even started thinking about kids at one point. But now, those talks all just felt like wasted time.