inspired by vi-writes <3
i walked upstairs after finishing a movie, completely exhausted and ready for bed. i stopped by mackenzie's room and peeked in. she was fast asleep, clinging to her stuffed bear that she's had since she was born.
every time i see the bear, i can't help but think about her mom, who died while giving birth. her mom, my wife, is who she's named after. after that, i didn't know what to do, but her parents stepped up and helped me get past it, even though they were just as heartbroken.
i walked in her room and sat down on the bed beside her sleeping body. i ran my fingers through her soft, strawberry scented hair and she stirred a little in her sleep. my vision soon grew blurry as my eyes filled with tears.
i quickly stood up, covering my mouth as i watched mack's chest rise and fall slowly. i couldn't hold back the tears, thinking about how she's never had a mother figure in her short, four year old life. i sat down at the end of her bed, my hands running through my hair.
she deserves a mom. i kept thinking. there is nothing she deserves more.
"daddy?" i heard her small, tired voice behind me. i sniffled and wiped the tears that had fallen. i slowly turned around and watched as she crawled over to me. "daddy, you crying?" i sniffled again before nodding slowly. "but i'm okay." she got up on her knees and grabbed my face, placing kisses on my cheeks, making me chuckle. "thank you princess." she smiled softly, her eyes shimmering even though she just woke up. at 2am.
"why you crying?" she tilted her head to the left, like she always did when she asked questions. she got that from her mom. "come here baby." she crawled into my lap and looked up at me with her big, hazel eyes. "do- ugh, do you ever think about having a mommy?" she looked down and played with her tiny fingers. "yeah. all of my friends in school have mommies. but i don't. why?" i tucked a piece of hair behind her ear when she looked back up at me. "that's something we can talk about later princess. for now, i think you should go back to bed, okay?" she nodded and yawned. i tucked her in, kissed her head, and left.
i laid in bed, thoughts running through my head. i've been thinking about dating recently, considering the fact that it's been four years since she passed away. i decided, now that i know mack wants one, to look for a mommy.
published may 3 2020
i am definitely going to make this a mini series so stay tuned!!!
