song:: still by niall horan
rain. i thought back to all the times grayson and i would cuddle during a rain shower. when he would whisper sweet nothings in my ear, the sound of his voice mixed with the rain slowly bringing me to sleep.
i sat in my bed, looking out the window at the dark sky, raining pouring down. my focus moved to my journal on my bedside table. i wrote all of my feelings in there; it was kind of like a therapist. always listening to my rants.
i took it off the table, grabbing my pen along with it, i began writing.
i miss him. i miss everything about him. about us. he made me happy. now, i don't even know what to feel. everytime i think of him, which is pretty much all the time, i can't help but wonder if he thinks about me too.
i stopped writing, thinking about what else to write. while i thought, i read over what i had just spilled out.
oh my god. i'm still in love.
grayson's pov
rain. everything about the rain reminded me of her. our cuddles during storms, our dances in the cold rain, our kisses in the cold rain.
i used to talk her to sleep as it rained. just thinking about it, about her, makes me miss her ten times more, if even possible.
the more i thought, the more i missed. eventually, i thought enough to the point that i picked up my phone, scrolling to her contact.
i hovered my finger over her name, finally deciding not to give in. but there was something still telling me to.
i gave up, tossing my phone down and walking to my closet. i grabbed a hoodie, tossing it on along with my af1's. i grabbed my phone and keys, heading to her.
as i drove in the rain, the radio played our favorite song. i looked over to the passenger seat, expecting her to be seated there, smiling as she began to sing. but it was empty.
i wondered why i did that until it hit me.
oh my god i'm still in love with her.
y/n's pov
i set my journal down, my thoughts going crazy. in an attempt to calm my head, i went to my kitchen and grabbed a water from the fridge. i leaned against the counter, thinking about noting but him.
how did i not realize this earlier? why did i not realize this earlier? am i that numb to my feelings?
suddenly, a knock on my front door. i looked through the peep hole, my heart dropping when i saw him standing in the pouring rain, absolutely soaked.
what is he doing here? do i open the door? do i ignore it? no, what if he is confessing his love for me? ugh, no that's stupid. he doesn't love me. but, then why is he here?
my thoughts are interrupted by another loud knock. i hesitated before opening the door right as he was reaching to knock again.
my eyes quickly met his. we stood in silence for a minute, the rain making the only sound as it landed on the concrete.
"w-what are you doing here grayson?" my words came out in a whisper, and i wondered if he could even hear them.
"before you get mad, or-or upset, i just," he looked up at me before continuing,"i'm here, in the rain." my eyebrows furrowed as i slowly nodded.
"is that it? it's late and i'm pretty tired grayson." i began to shut the door, but he stopped it with his large hand.
"tell me you want it." i sighed, opening the door. "want what, grayson?"
"me."
the single word seemed to float in the air above us, all of my words stuck in my throat.
"i'm standing here, in the pouring rain, just trying to be honest. and if honesty means telling you the truth," he paused, taking my hands in his,"i'm still in love with you."
my heart fluttered, butterflies erupting in my stomach.
"and i-i don't know if i am what you want anymore, since we are basically a thousand miles from the day we started, but i-i literally drove in the pouring rain to confess my love for you, and," he paused again, chuckling softly. "and it would kind of suck if you turned me down. but if you still love me-"
"just shut up."
i grabbed the back of his neck, pulling his lips to mine. the softness of his lips seemed to remind me of everything.
the sweet kiss lasted for a long time, but neither of us cared. all we cared about was each other.
"i missed you so much grayson, you have no idea how much i just wanted to kiss you again." he chuckled again.
"so, what does this mean?" i looked into his eyes, nearly melting into them.
"can i come inside first? it's getting kinda cold." i smiled, taking his hand and leading him to my bedroom. i handed him a sweatshirt and sweats i had stolen but never given back. "go change, we can talk once we are both dry."
i changed my clothes and put them in the laundry hamper just as grayson came out of the bathroom.
"let's talk." we sat down on my bed, both of us cozy and warm in dry clothes.
"grayson, honestly, i have no clue what the future holds; neither of us do. but i want you to be in it." he smiled, clutching my hands once again. "but then again, we can see how it turned out." i sighed. "i guess i'm just...scared? i don't want to lose you. not just break up again, but lose you as a friend."
he pulled me into his warm embrace. i leaned my head on his shoulder as his hand ran up and down my back.
"we'll be alright."
i pulled away from his grip, smiling.
"i'm so glad i drove here in the pouring rain." we both laughed before eventually falling asleep in each other's arms.
just like old times.
published july 1 2020
do i have any 1D/solo stans here?
it's july, 23 days til the possible reunion how are u feeling?
tbh i'm TERRIFIED and praying that they get back together:))
fingers crossed!!!
