inspired by hold on by chord overstreet
definitely a **trigger warning**
mentions of attempted suicide
y/n's pov
too much.
it's all too much.
i don't know how much longer i can go. each day feels the same, just repeating itself.
i know that if i do go, a few people will miss me. my best friend piper, my mom and dad, and my boyfriend ethan.
i've attempted to leave a couple times before, but i'm not committed enough. all i can think about while attempting is him. ethan.
he has led me through some of the darkest places of my life, and for that i'm forever grateful.
but he's not here right now. he's in new jersey, visiting his mom. he's not here to protect me from my horrid thoughts.
so, as i lay in my bed, all i can wonder is this: if i go, will i regret it? will people even truly care?
as my thoughts continue to push me closer to the edge, i walk into the bathroom, locking the door just in case.
i splash cold water on my face, then look at myself in the mirror.
my reflection only seems to hate me more and more each day.
the thoughts continue running in my head until i decide that i've had enough.
i can't do this anymore.
ethan's pov
back in la, i decide that i want to surprise y/n, so i text her mom asking if i can come over just to see her daughter.
of course, she says yes, so i get grayson to drop me off at her house.
i knock on the front door, excited to see my precious baby again.
"hi ms. y/l/n! how've you been?" i hug her tightly. y/n's mom and i have a close relationship too. in my personal opinion, i find it crucial to build relationships with your significant other's family, so i do just that.
after we caught up, she said that y/n should be in her room. hurriedly, i make my way up the stairs and to her bedroom.
i crack the door open slightly, expecting to see her on her queen size bed. but she's not there.
quietly, i make my way further into her room, looking around until i see light coming from underneath her bathroom door.
i smile, slowly walking to and knocking on the door. no response.
i grow slightly worried, and knock again, assuming she didn't hear me the first time. but still, no response.
"y/n? baby, it's ethan. i'm back!"
no response. no noise. nothing.
at this point, i'm terrified. i know y/n has had the worst past few years ever, so i'm scared of what i could see when i walk in.
