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Deidara x Fem Reader- Nightmare

Deidara x Fem Reader!

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You felt like you were suspended in nothingness- floating around in the manifestation of your fears that haunt you when you sleep. You hated the feeling of helplessness as you were stuck there, manipulated by your weaknesses, your anxieties, your phobias and traumas. Image after image of things that terrify you play like a movie as you view your own memories, but one memory in particular sets you over the edge, causes you to plunge deep into the depths of your nightmares. One memory that would scar and haunt you for all eternity.

It's the memory of Deidara's attempted suicide.

You had never experienced such pure dread and despair as you did at the moment you thought he you saw him blow himself up in a suicide attack, white light filling the clearing as you watched frozen, his name ripped from your thoat in a scream of grief and pain.

You had felt empty.

Cold, empty and alone- as though your heart had been ripped from your chest and replaced with a block of dull ice that cut into your nerves, causing you immense pain, numbing all your feelings, filling you with despair, desperation and longing. Longing to see his mischevious smirk that you loved, to see the way his eyes lit up when talking about his art. To hear his habit of grunting at the end of his sentences, something you found to be endearing. To feel the warmth he radiates, like the sun colouring of his hair. To smell his relaxing scent of clay and shampoo. To be with him.

You needed him.

You shakily dragged youself into a standing position, your [eye colour] eyes wide with fear as you looked around frantically for a sight of blonde hair. You felt your legs begin to move, running towards where Deidara had been at a speed you weren't aware you were capable of. He couldn't be dead. He can't be. It's impossible. You refused to believe it. You arrived at the scene, your heart pounding painfully against your chest and nausea in your stomach causing you to swallow at the trepidation drowning you. 

And then you felt it stop.

The area was completely destroyed, not a single thing left intact- a large crater left in its place. You jumped into the crater, clinging desperately to your last thread of hope as to his survival, only for it to be snapped in two by the horrible reality.

He wasn't there. His body wasn't there.

As though he had never existed.

No. He couldn't be dead. He promised he wouldn't leave you. He promised.

But he couldn't keep it.

Tears fell in cold and relentless sheets and you collapsed to the floor, your strength drained as a scream ripped its way from your mouth, tearing through the air and resounding with your emotions: anger, sorrow, despair and hatred.

Hatred for this callous world who had tore your beloved from your life and left you empty. Hatred for the bastard who forced Deidara into that position. Hatred at yourself for surviving whilst he died.

You screamed until your throat and cried until your eyes were sore, when you heard the sound of someone moving and a pained groan that you knew so well. Not daring to believe it, you slowly turned around and felt the tears fall again, relief coarsing through yours veins at what you saw.

Deidara.

He was injured,  his hair was singed,  part of the end being burnt of completely and he looked tired, but he was alive. He looked up and at seeing you, his face broke into a tired version of the smirk you had longed to see, his voice saying:

"I wasn't able to become art, un."

You ran to him, wrapping your arms around him and clinging to him, tears falling down your face with renewed vigor as he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your hair, pressing a kiss to the back of your head as he whispered:

"I'm sorry for making you worry, hm."

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You plunged back into the real world, your body wracked with a scream that threatened to break free as you felt a slight wetness coat your cheeks. You knew it was just a nightmare but it was still terrifying. You never wanted to live through that experience again. Those moments when you thought that Deidara was dead were an agonizing nightmare, where you couldn't breathe and you felt as though your body had been coated with a thin layer of ice, leaving your body slowed whilst your mind worked on overdrive, trying to stomach the torrent of emotions that had hit you like a tornado, attempting to destrot your sanity and leave you alone in a hell that you would rather destroy the world than live through.

It was torture.

So when you felt a warm body wrap their strong arms around you comfortingly and looked up to find his blue eye looking at you with concern, worry and guilt in place you clung to him for fear of him dissapearing as you tried to calm your trembling body. He understood immediatley and pressed his lips against your forehead whilst rubbing calming circles onto your back as you released your fears, his voice strained with emotion when he spoke:

"I'll never leave you alone again, un."

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There you go. Done. Angst! And more angst! Add in a little more angst and BOOOM, that is the contents of this chapter! You can decide as to how Deidara survived!

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