Anime one-shots/ requests/ drabbles (Requests are closed.)

Hidan x Fem Reader- Pregnancy is a pain in the a**

Hidan x Fem Reader! AU!

Requested by sacrawolf!

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Fuck.

Just fuck it all to hell.

Fuck. Life.

Pregnant?

Really?

Pregnant.

You?

What the fuck is wrong with the world? Did you piss off Jashin or some other assface in the world andthey decided to smite you by inserting a freaking child into your body?  A little warning would be nice, but of course that would be too hard for life, wouldn't it. Great. Now you are going to have a child. Just great. You feel sorry for the child, ending up with you and your boyfriend for parents.

Right. Well, now you have to tell Hidan that he has to get his ass in gear and prepare for fatherhood. Brilliant. That should be fun, shouldn't it? Please. just don't let him sacrifice someone. You really don't want to have to clean up the blood again. It's a pain to clear up and is rather difficult to explain when people visit. You groaned, moving some hair from your face as you unlocked the bathroom door and shouted:

"HIDAN! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

The sound of cursing accompanied his loud footsteps before he crashed into the bathroom, a slight scowl on his face, probably because you had interrupted his praying or whatever he does whilst he was locked in the room. You merely raised an eyebrow and picked up the positive pregnancy test and hurling it at him with just a little more force than necessary, narrating it with a single word explanation:

"Catch."

His hand flew out, catching it before it could smash his skull into tiny little pieces, his scowl deepening as you merely stared innocently at him, before he turned to glare at the offending item that you could have maimed him with, only to freeze, his glare turning bewildered as he stared at the pregnancy test with a bold 'positive' that was blinking up at him. And then he stared at you, his eyes widened and mouth open, his jaw opening as he stuttered. Hidan? Stuttering?

Holy shit the world is ending. 

Abort mission. I repeat, abort mission. Prepare for it to rain fire.

"W-what the fuck is this?"

You laughed nervously, suddenly terrified as to the possibility that you may have broken Hidan, a hand absent mindedly scratching the back of your neck as you replied:

"Congratulations. Your going to be a father."

He stared for a moment, his mind processing these words before he leant against the wall for support, uttering a string of curses and prayers as he put his head in his hands, apparently either intent on denying it or unable to grasp it. You just stood awkwardly for several moments, before moving closer to him, unsure as to whether or not to get your hopes up and take it as a positive reaction. Currently, it seemed more negative. Eventually, the silence that was only broken by Hidan crusing many people to painful deaths at the hand of Jashin and several choice swear words became suffocating, causing you to groan, a hand resting on your forehead as you slumped slightly:

"Okay, what the hell? Are you happy that we are going to have a child or do I need to barricade all possible exits to prevent you from trying to make a break for it and killing someone? If so, I would like a warning before hand, as it is so much of a pain in the ass to try and do so whilst you're on a psychotic rage."

He just let out another groan, before looking up to stare at you, his eyes trying to read you as he asked:

"What the hell do you want to do?"

You remained silent for a few moments, carefully mulling over the question- what did you want to do? I mean, if you decide to keep it, then you have to carry it around in your body for nine fucking months before you finally eject it in a screaming wreck, only to have to care for it until it left and started its own life. And the prospect was terrifying. But, on the other hand, this could be your only chance. If you decide to abort it, then you may end up regret it later if you never get a chance to have a family. But was it worth it?

After what felt like hours, you sighed, looking up into his magenta eyes, your face holding a new found determination and resolution garnered from minutes of careful consideration that could end up being the biggest mistake or the greatest blessing of your life:

"I want to have our child."

He stared for a few moments more, a sigh escaping before he smirked slightly, understanding apparently making its way into his vocabulary:

"Whatever the fuck you want."

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"AHHHHH! GODDAMMIT HIDAN! FUCK YOU! AH SHIT! UGGGGGH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ASSHOLE!"

The sound of your yelling filed the hospital as you screamed curses and death threats as the pain hit you at full blast, feeling like you someone was wringing out your insides, forcing them out piece by piece at an infuriatingly slow pace, your patience running thin as a doctor told Hidan for the umpteenth time that you had to keep pushing. I mean, sheesh, it's not like you can't understand him. And you didn't care as to anythignother than when the baby will be out of your damned body, so you can try to strangle someone for deciding to make it hurt as much as they could. With one final, deathening scream you shoved, your breath coming in panting breaths as the sound of a slap and a babies crying filled the air. You forced yourself into as close to a sitting position as you could manage, before holding your arms out for the baby. You were tired as hell, your body ached and you felt like you might collapse, but there is no way in hell that that will stop you from seeing your child. The baby was placed in your arms, it's face peaceful as it slept and you did not understand how such an adorable child could be such a pain in the ass to deliver. You smiled at Hidan as he came to stand near you, removing a few strands of sweat soaked hair from your face with a smile, his voice as quiet as he could manage in order to avoid waking the sleeping child and carefully void of swearwords:

"It's beautiful."

Then, he murmered next to your ear:

" Hell, almost as much as you."

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Hidan! I was tempted to make Hidan faint in shock, but i resisted the temptation so that he wasn't too OOC! I also had an idea for a different ending, but it was kind of sad and I didn't want to write it for this oneshot! In the end, this is what we get! I hope you liked it!

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