knj imagines

grandma's house || k. lawley

"Grandma, your favorite person is here!" I hung my coat over the back of a chair and met her halfway to the kitchen with a hug. "Hey, how are you?"

"Better now that you're here," she said, patting my cheek affectionately. "Do you want to help me make cookies?" I nodded excitedly and went to the sink to wash my hands, admiring a vase of flowers that were carefully arranged on the windowsill. I nodded to them as I dried my hands. "Is there a new boyfriend I should be worrying about?"

She laughed and shook her head, hesitating before she spoke again. "Kian actually dropped them off last week." The mention of him sent my mood plummeting through the floor, practically through the crust of the earth, and my grandma sensed the change. "Anyway, these cookies won't bake themselves!"

I tried to shake off the thought of him and enjoy the time with my grandma, but I couldn't help myself. I kept my hands busy with a wooden spoon and tried to keep my tone light and casual. "Why was Kian here?"

She pretended not to hear me as she searched through a drawer. "Now where is the snowman cookie cutter?"

"Grandma," I tried again, turning and putting my hand on my hip. She glanced up but began to squirm under my gaze.

"He drops by to see me sometimes," she said as she continued to search through the drawers, coming up with the snowman shape and holding it up triumphantly. "There he is!"

I frowned at the answer and completely stopped what I was doing, surprised that this had never come up before. "Wait, he comes a lot? To do what?"

"Oh, just to be nice. He fixes things around the house or just comes to talk, nothing to be worried about. Are you done mixing the batter?" I didn't like the idea of Kian hanging out with my grandma without me around and she smoothed a hand over my head. "You know I hate to pry, but whatever happened between the two of you? You used to be so close."

"You don't hate to pry and we both know it," I said, ducking away from her. "He started to be too cool to hang out with me. It doesn't matter anyway," I mumbled. "Let's not talk about him anymore."

She pressed her lips together but dropped the subject, filling up the sudden silence with stories about Christmases when she was little. I loved hearing stories about when she was a little girl and, I could feel my mood lifting the more she talked.

The doorbell rang, interrupting storytime. "I'll get it," I said, rinsing off my hands and drying them on a towel as I jogged to the door. The smile that had just found its way back to my face was dropped again when I opened the door to find Kian standing on the porch with a wreath in his hands.

"Oh," he said, shuffling his feet awkwardly. "I didn't know you be here."

I squeezed the towel tightly in my hands and we both just stood avoiding eye contact until my grandma came up behind me, giving Kian a warm smile and insisting that he come inside.

"That wreath is gorgeous! Where did you get it?" She admired it as she looked for a hook in the box of Christmas stuff sitting in her living room.

"I saw them on my drive home. The elementary school was selling them and I thought it would look nice on your door," he said. I could feel his gaze falling on me every so often and I tried my best to look at everything in the room but him. "Anyway, I don't want to bother you guys. You look busy."

"Oh, please stay! (Y/N) and I were just doing some baking and we would love for you to join us, right honey?" Kian looked between the two of us and it was probably very clear that I did not agree with her. She sensed his hesitation and insisted again that he stay.

"Maybe for a little while."

I let them do the talking, mostly my grandma relentlessly asking Kian questions about his family which he seemed to dodge as nicely as possible.

The phone rang and my grandma excused herself upstairs to answer it, leaving us by ourselves. I pretended to be invested in my measuring to prolong having to talk to him but I finally decided I was being borderline rude. "How are you?"

He looked surprised that I was speaking and shrugged. "Um okay, how are you?"

I shrugged and the conversation was dead before it really even started. I tried to think of something else to say but was coming up short. How did we used to talk for hours on end and never run out of things to say? "How is Tabitha? I haven't talked to her in years."

He twisted his mouth at the question as if he was thinking how he wanted to answer. "I actually have no clue. I just make stuff up when your grandma asks." I frowned and he looked down sadly. "I don't talk to my family much."

"Why's that?" The question just slipped out and I was surprised at myself for asking. He looked up, surprised too. "You don't have to tell me," I added quickly.

"Apparently my choice to not go to college was a very big deal to my parents. They kicked me out and I've been by myself for awhile now. My siblings have never reached out much." I suddenly felt bad for being so cold to him and he smiled as he began cutting Christmas trees out from the dough in front of him. "That's why I like coming to see your grandma."

"She is pretty good company," I said and Kian nodded with a smile. "She really likes you coming too. She told me you're here a lot," I said, trailing off at the end.

It was silent for a few seconds until Kian finally looked straight at me. "Why aren't we friends anymore?"

"Probably because you told me I wasn't cool enough for your cooler friends. It was actually a very traumatizing experience for me." He was frowning in confusion and shook his head.

"I would've never said that to you! You were my best friend!"

"Well maybe not those exact words but close," I mumbled back, turning my attention back to the cookie cutters in front of me. "It was a long time ago."

His feet appeared beside mine and I glanced up to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry I made you feel like that. You don't know how many times over the past couple years I wished I could reach for the phone and call you." I don't think I had ever seen him sadder and I couldn't help but quickly pull him into a hug.

"You could've," I whispered and he squeezed me back. I pulled away with a smile and gestured to the cookies. "We have a lot of cookies to bake."

"And a lot of catching up to do," he said with a wide smile.