Peter Parker Oneshots and Drabbles

49. Never Drinking Again - Funny Oneshot

Anonymous asked:

Peter being super freaked out about being a dad during the end of reader's pregnancy, so she asks Ned to take him out and basically get drunk so that he can relax a little. And they do, Peter is so drunk now that he's just laughing at anything Ned says, until he grabs his phone, that was confiscated by Ned so that he could chill out, Ned is also checking his phone and he sees that he got a lot of voicemails from you saying that you are in labor and that they need to get back right now. And Peter goes back to freaking out lmao

Thank you for sending this in! I hope you enjoy! Please read the warnings.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader [Fluff]
Warnings: Drinking and swearing
Word Count: 1.1k

When Peter unzipped and zipped the go bag for the pregnancy again today, you sighed angrily. He needed to stop whatever he was doing. He was too worried and stressed about the baby coming, and it was making you stressed and pissed off. You didn't want him to act so worried when you both were ready for the baby.

He had been checking up on you at least every thirty minutes if you two were apart, and then when you were together, he wouldn't look away from you. He'd also hold onto your stomach and try to judge what time the baby was coming based on the strengths of the kicks, which you thought was short of insane. He bought everything that would help you out during pregnancy, which you enjoyed but here were also some weird things he bought.

The hat he got you... wasn't for your head. It was for the baby bump. He even got a stroller for you to sit in, if you felt as though the baby was kicking you too much. It was crazy. He bought you baby food, to try out to see if the baby liked it, and if you threw up, Peter would declare the baby didn't like it.

Everything he did drove you mad.

You needed the break. You called Ned in the next moment as you glared at Peter, who had no idea how pissed off you were by his actions. When you explained the situation to Ned, he burst out into laughter, howling Peter's name before clearing his throat and calming down.

"I'll take him to a bar for the night, try to calm him down." Ned explained and you sighed gratefully, sitting back comfortably in the chair.

"Thank you so fucking much. How's 5 sound?" You replied, making the plan instantly.

You kissed Peter goodbye, with a bright smile, just happy to have some alone time. When you sat down, you almost immediately closed your eyes, happy with the silence and how unbothered everything was now.

When Peter and Ned got to the bar, Peter was tugging at his hair anxiously, and bouncing his leg up and down. Ned glanced over to him with furrowed eyebrows, shaking his head, before ordering a few beers. Peter cleared his throat, "I uh, I can't drink." He shrugged over to Ned apologetically, still bouncing his leg.

"What, why?" Ned questioned, with a ridiculous look on his head. He didn't realize how worried Peter could get, but he could see your point of view now, about how annoying it is. It didn't make sense because you and Peter were the most prepared parents he's ever known. Everything was taken account for, and he knew that the baby room was completely ready for anything.

"What if Y/n is hurt? That she fell because of the baby. I know her feet get sore sometimes." Peter rambled, now nibbling down on his fingernails, glancing around the room.

"What the fuck, Peter? Just drink." Ned sighed out, shaking his head back to Peter. He took a sip of his beer to encourage him, "See! It tastes good too."

"You don't have to lie to me, I know that tastes like piss." Peter shot back with a frown. Ned rolled his eyes, gulping down some more of his drink. It took a minute of silence to step down from his worries to drink some beer.