NCT Dream |Collide| [Markhyuck, Nomin, Chensung]

34

Jisung felt like he was going insane.

He couldn't sleep.

He couldn't eat.

He just kept thinking about Chenle.

Chenle this.

Chenle that.

He laid quietly in his dark bedroom, the bedside lamp giving of enough light for him to wallow in his regrets.

What was he going to do?

At this rate he would kill himself if he kept thinking about Chenle.

He already apologized. What more can he do?

He wanted Chenle so bad. He wants the boys warmth around him.

He felt weird. Like a revelation was burning a whole into his chest.

He wanted someone around.

He wanted Chenle around.

To be around him and annoy him with cute remarks and stories. To fill his ears with random positivity and a loud laugh.

You already apologized...he rejected...

Jisungs heart dropped as he plopped his head down onto the pillow on his bed.

An apology wasn't enough.

The same new voice from before, when Jisungn clouds was watching was in his head again.

Actions speak louder than words.

Jisung sighed hard at that thought.

Actions were hard. He never had to do any actions for other people. Any actions he did were for himself and himself only. He didn't help people benefit at all from his actions.

Chenle was hurt by him though.

He broke the already beautifully broken blonde boy. The one who understood his pains and struggles. The one who still seeked out good things in him despite his poor attitude.

He broke the boy who cared. He broke the boy who despite being sad only pushed out love.

He broke the boy he wanted to be.

Jisung dropped forward onto his bed, burying his face in his hands.

Do something.

The voice encouraged him again.

"There's nothing I can do," Jisung groaned in defeat. "He won't even talk to me."

Fix it.

The voice in his head spoke in a soft manner.

"I can't fix it-" Jisung stood up and began to pace across the room. "I hurt him. I said things I didn't mean because I had a bad day. I made him cry. He probably can't even stand to-"

Jisung was cut off again by the voice in his head.

He said he liked you. He likes you.

Jisung's eyes widened and he slowly took his hand out of his hair and let out a suprised huff of breath.

Chenle said he liked him.

He said he likes him.

He said this yesterday when he thought Renjun was in the room.

Jisung likes Chenle.

Chenle likes him.

Jisung smiled before jumping back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling in hope.

He didn't know how but he wasn't going to stop until he succeeded.

He was going to get his Chenle back.