Star Dazed

Chapter Twenty Five: Contemplating Thoughts

{Dedicated to @WaVeSSS for inspiring me with such a beautiful message. Love you! <3 I hope you continue reading, voting and commenting. I will always need your support!}

This chapter is dedicated to everyone who commented on the previous update. You all motivated me to continue. Love you all: each and every one of you!

X_______________________X

Sometimes, all you need is a list of reasons to hate someone. Though I've got my list on hating him. But even then I can't. No matter how hard I try I just can't hate him, and I WON'T. Maahirah Furqaan, SD.

 

Chapter Twenty Five

Contemplating Thoughts

(Maahirah Furqaan)

I inhale deep breathes and then exhale; a foggy cloud erupts out of my mouth in this process. I zip up my jacket and fold my arms over my chest, hoping to retain some body heat.

Technically, it is not at all a great idea to sit outside in the cold December weather. I'm on the roof of this building (Elton), hidden behind the back wall in the small alley. My back pressed against the wall.

Life, it's unexpected. Unpredictable. You don't know what might happen on the next day. Heck, you don't even know what will happen in the next seconds. Allah says in Qur'an.

'But they plan and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners.'

                                                                                                       [8:30]

Allah Almighty knows what is best for us. He grants us what we deserve and not what we want. And, yet, it's the most difficult thing to accept what is written in our fate. We do not accept it. Instead we wallow. The funny thing is that is the exact thing that I'm doing right now. I’ve been crying from the past fifteen minutes.

I didn't want any of this to happen to me. I wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to enjoy my vacations at home with blankets wrapped around me and reading thick novella and baking and sipping on hot chocolate and warm coffee. I was supposed to start applying at colleges. And, most certainly marriage wasn't on my to-do list.

Tears leaks from my eyes and seconds later a loud sob escapes. I put my shaky hand over my mouth and choke on my tears. Tears after tears fall from my eyes. There is no one to comfort me. Even the wind has gone silent and my erratic heartbeat and cries echo in my ears.

My Dad agreed to this marriage. He did. Flashbacks blink in my head, one after one, repeatedly, like lightning.

You've my blessings, son.

You'll find out soon.

How can we protect her?

The third person had always been me. Whether my Dad and Aayan talked; whether Darren, Aayan and Mr.Brackson talked, it meant me.

Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. And. Only. Me.

I let out more cries. All that I feel for the past few weeks all comes pouring out in tears. I do not whether I should be saddened? Or offended? Or desperate? Or happy?!! What I'm feeling right now is the mixture of all this emotions; combined together to form a cruel way of making me hate life.