Star Dazed

Chapter Thirty Six: I Surrender

RECAP

A wrecking sob escapes my throat. I put my shaky hand over my mouth and cry harder into it. With my back pressed to the pillar, I sling down the floor. My shoulders tremble. Breakdown. This is called a breakdown.

My emotions all that I had been feeling for the past few weeks comings tumbling in these wails. A longing of my home, Mom, Dad, Vaneeza, Ellie, Chace and a hate for the messed up life of Eltonians and Wiltionians. I hate myself for being their anchors. Their firm belief in me being their hope. I 'm just a seventeen year old girl. How can the fate of people weigh in my hands?

A figure drops in front of me.. "Maahirah. Hey. Hey."

Through my tears, I see his face stained with blood. Blob of red patches on his previously pure white  shirt. Seeing him in this state makes me cry harder and I launch myself into his torso. I grab the material of his shirt and bawl my eyes out. He rubs my back, chanting.

"'S okay. Its okay. Its okay."

I cling harder into him, like I'm afraid Tianas will appear out of nowhere and take him away. I can't let that happen. I've lost so much and I'm sure the pain of losing Aayan is something that I can't endure.

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One day, you will ask me, which is more importan? My life or yours? I'll say mine, ans you will walk away not knowing that you're my life.' Khalil Gibran

Chapter Thirty Six

I Surrender

(Maahirah)

Minutes later, when I pull my head back from Aayan's chest, he grabs my face and gently with his finger wipe the lingering tears. His chocolate eyes penetrate into mine, and analyze me like I'm a crossword puzzle that he's so keen to solve. 

His face is expressionless, neutral and that's what I like about him. His ability to remain impasse no matter what the situation is. This time, I know he wouldn't let me off the hook. He deserves to know the reasons of my tears.

"C'mon let's freshen ourselves." He says.

My eyes snap to meet his again because I was sure that when he'd open his mouth he'd ask me what happened and so I had let my gaze waver, but, what I didn't expect him to let this situation go out of his pitch. I'm vulnerable at this minute and maybe if he has pestered me enough I might have had blabbered out the whole incident. However, no, he's giving me time, like he always does.

He must have seen the surprised look on my face because he has started to caress my cheek tenderly with his thumb.

"You need to wash up and just forget what happened whatever happened minutes ago."

He's Aayan. Full of surprises. Full of humanity. Full of goodness. My Aayan.

I nod. 

He clasps my hand and lifts me up. I'm not hurt but the whole ordeal has me weaken and tired. We make our way to his room, passing wounded people and curious looks. I keep my gaze down and let Aayan guide me. I don't meet their eyes simply because seeing them just reminds me what Tianas said to me that all these people are suffering for only trying to protect me. I can end this by surrendering myself. 

We pass Jarred and a crying Destiny. Jarred calls out Aayan's name but he turns around and says, "My hands are full. I'll talk to you later."

I want to know what it is. Although, this thought quickly fades as soon as it sets, Destiny's tears just reminded me of a certain pair of blue eyes. Iva.