Star Dazed

Chapter Twenty Six: Is It Start Of Something New?

[Dedicated to @AmenahAshraf for her beautiful comments and awesome support!!]

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'And, suddenly you know: It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.' -Meister Eckhart.

Chapter Twenty Six

Is It Start Of Something New?

(Maahirah Furqaan)

 

I dodge the punch as it misses my eye by an inch. I raise my hand to surrender this fight. Destiny scowls at me, looking quite annoyed.

"Maahirah, you've your test in less than two days and if you don't start practicing from now on, you will fail.” Her emphasis is on fail.

"I don't care." I nearly snap at her. Tucking the hair back that managed to escape out of my hijab, I plop down on the plushy carpeted rug. Rubbing my finger on my forehead, I say."Can I take a break?"

She widens her eyes for fractions of few seconds and then quickly composes herself."Maahirah. Okay. You can take a break. But tell me what's wrong?"

"My arm hurts." Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth, which I might add is a total lie. My arm is perfectly and healthy now. In fact, all of my wounds are. Thanks to all those pain-killers and healers.

She gives me am-I-that-stupid look.

"I'm serious. Okay.” I sigh. “I lied. My arm is fine. But I'm just not feeling okay!"

"Why?"

"Because..." I say."Because everything happened so fast and just so soon. I wasn't ready for it. I wasn't ready for anything at all, and yet life threw so much at me, at the same time."

"That's life, Maahirah. You cannot plan out your future and expect it to work. No. Sometimes, God, has better plans for us."

I nod.

"Anyways," She places her hand on my shoulder and says, "There is a big gathering at the Great Hall, you should come to, you know,  to get things out of your mind!"

"Yeah. Aseer told me about it. InShaaAllah I'll think about it."

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I had my nikah with Aayan two days ago. It was done with full simplicity and modesty at the small Masjid here in Elton's headquarters. And, the wedding was done in the same day at the Great Hall. It was excellent; at least that is what people told me.

I had agreed to this proposal because I had no reasons to deny it. Dad said that he had performed the Istikharah and the result was positive. So what was holding me back from saying yes when Allah (SWT) had given me the clear answer?

However, in these two days, all we said to each other is hi and hello. Only three-two words and that’s it. It's pathetic, right?

It's not my fault. I mean, in a way, it's not. Even if I don't try to communicate with him...does it make it my fault?

Partially. Yes. My inner voice says. I ignore it as usual.

Other than that, Aayan, at least, he should try to make 'us' work. But, he doesn't. He radiates off this mysterious air around him. All I feel in him is an aura of silence, and maybe hurt, too. He has wrapped himself in a cocoon, not permitting anyone to dig inside and extract the real him.