Broken- Brittana

Nationals

Rachel's POV:

Today is the day that I have been waiting for since I was born: it is my chance to finally be a star. Everything that I have done, everything that my dads did to give me a competitive edge in the arts, it has all lead to this moment. I can't let anyone or anything distract me from the competition- including Quinn.

Anybody who had eyes can see that she is in pain, that she is going off the rails, but I really don't think there is anything I can do. I want to, don't get me wrong, but she let me go... if I'm hurting from it then I can only imagine how she is feeling now. She does seem better after whatever happened with Santana and Brittany yesterday, though.

The night before then, I was working on my song (it didn't get chosen which I am kind of mad about, although Santana and Finn's songs are really good) and Quinn and I were the only ones awake.

Flashback to the night before Quinn cuts her hair:

Still Rachel's POV:

I am trying to focus on my song when I keep sensing someone watching me. I try to avoid looking up because I have a strong suspicion of who it is, but the urge is too strong. I look to the bed where she was sat and her head instantly shot down. I kept watching her for a bit, trying to figure out if I should say something, before looking down again. However, as soon as I did, I felt her looking at me again. We kept going in this cycle of watching and looking away before I finally cracked.

"You want to go get some hot chocolate or something?" I asked nervously. We haven't really spoken since prom so it was kind awkward, but no more awkward than what we were currently doing.

"Uh- okay..." she answered hesitantly with a half-smile. The thing that I love most about New York- one of the things- is that the city never sleeps. Wherever you are, there will always be somewhere open; a diner or restaurant. The city is perfect, and there is a place for everyone.

We grabbed our coats and made our way through the cold to the nearest open place. The temperature was so low, and I could tell that she- and I- wanted to be closer so that we could warm each other up a little with our body heat. Eventually, she had had enough. I heard her mutter a small "fuck it" before closing the uncomfortably wide gap between us and linked our arms, nuzzling into my side.

When we made it, we ordered our drinks and sat at a table in silence- both of us wanted to break it but we didn't want to go through the usual small talk. I took the moment to fully admire her- she was, as always, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I have been avoiding her because I knew how much it hurt us both to speak. We loved each other. She was right in letting me go, there was no way for the both of us to be happy at that point, but it didn't mean that it wasn't painful. You know what? Screw it. I want to talk to her and I am not going to let this get in the way of what used to be a good friendship.

"So how have you been?" I asked after a few more moments of silence.

"You know," she shrugged with a saddened expression, looking down at her clearly fumbling hands. "what about you?"

"Same I guess," I sighed and reached over the table to get her to look at me. "Do you- do you want me to wait for you?" As much as I want to be able to move on, I can't deny that I still have feelings for her. Waiting will hurt, but I don't want us too miss out on our shot. When I saw that she was about to say no without even thinking, I interrupted her. "Don't just say no. I know how you feel, you know how I feel. If you want me to wait, I will do everything I can to make that okay. Just really, really think about it..."

"I don't want you to wait," she said after a few minutes of painful silence. Unlike the rest of the times, I could tell that she was being sincere- she really wanted me to move on. I nodded slowly, almost giving her a chance to change her answer. "What's happening with you, Finn and Jesse?" She was clearly trying to take interest in my love life to convince herself that it was okay. I debated not saying anything- I didn't want to hurt her- but I decided that I had no choice. She was being so generous by not holding me back; it was the respectful thing to do.