Out Of Time

eight

The next few months flew by fast. Y/N joined the SSR, immediately being put with Colonel Phillips and Agent Carter. She passed every test with flying colors. Almost like she was almost meant to be apart of something like the SSR. Her and Howard grew close. He was always flirting her, but she would just laugh it off and not give in. Howard knew she was with Bucky, but just enjoyed teasing her. Steve, Bucky, and their team of men, now known as the Howling Commandos, left three days after Bucky and Y/N made up their way to say their feelings for each other. The only form of communication she received from them were short letters.

Y/N,

Don't worry, I'm watching out for the punk. He basically thinks he's indestructible now that he's Captain America and has his own team. But I'm making sure he doesn't do anything stupid, he'll make it back to you. I promise. I'm doing good. I'm from Brooklyn, doll. And I'm really missing it. Make sure to take care of yourself.

Yours, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes

Y/N,

Buck probably told you about how he's taking care of me and stopping me from doing anything stupid. But, trust me, I'm stopping him just the same. I'll make sure that he'll get back to you in one piece, I promise. How's Agent Carter doing? I haven't heard from her in awhile. I hope you're taking care of yourself, doll. Miss you lots.

Your Big Brother, Captain Steven Grant Rogers

Colonel Phillips was set video footage him and the Colonel's team watched. Every time Y/N watched any of the footage, she made sure that her boys were in one piece. In one of the videos, Y/N noticed that Steve had a picture of her and Peggy in his compass. She continually teased Peggy about it, telling her that they better get together when this thing was over.

Y/N was working on some files when Colonel Phillips was notified that Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes had fallen off a train to his death. It had been two days, and no one could find the body. Colonel Phillips broke the news to Peggy and Howard first, requesting that they be there when Y/N was told.

"Agent Rogers," an agent came up to Y/N, "Colonel Phillips is requesting you in his office."

"Okay," Y/N responded. "I'll be right there."

As Y/N walked to Colonel Phillips' office, she noticed people were staring at her, all giving her sad looks. She was confused. The closer she got to the office, the more her mind raced. They couldn't be dead. They just couldn't be. Upon entering the office, she immediately noticed Peggy was sitting down in one of the chairs across from Colonel Phillips and his desk, with Howard leaning against the wall behind Peggy.

"Agent Rogers," Colonel Phillips greeted. "Please, shut the door."

"What's going on here?" Y/N asked as she shut the door behind her.

"I think it would be best if you sat down."

Y/N immediately tensed. Something was wrong. So very wrong. "I don't think I want-"

"Y/N, please," Peggy pleaded.

Y/N met Peggy's eyes. They shone with care and sadness. She looked in Howard's eyes next. His eyes shown with sadness, a sadness that he was clearly feeling for someone else. She didn't look away as she slowly sat herself down in the chair next to Peggy. Colonel Phillips let out a sigh before speaking up again.

"Your brother, Captain Rogers, and his team were tasked to stop a train that was taking Dr. Zola, HYDRA's top scientist, to one of their bases," he stated. "Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes zip lined onto the train to attack it from inside. While on the train, they were attacked." Y/N sucked in a deep breath and reached for Peggy's hand. Peggy willing took Y/N's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze that she was there. "A hole was blown in the train, causing Sergeant Barnes to fall from the train."

"No," Y/N let out a quiet cry, shaking her head. "No."

"Sergeant Barnes fell to his death," the Colonel continued. Y/N let out a cry of pain. "His body was not found... I am sorry for your loss."

"No!" Y/N sobbed. "He can't- Bucky can't be- No!"

Peggy quickly pulled the woman into her arms. "Shh... I'm so sorry, Y/N..." she tried to comfort. "I'm so very sorry."

"I loved him, Peg," Y/N cried. "I loved him and I never actually told him."

"He knew, Y/N/N... He knew."

"I'll let you be," Colonel Phillips said as he stood up. "Let me know if there's anything you need." He left, shutting the door behind him.

Peggy held Y/N until all the tears ran out, with Howard silently watching them. Once he noticed Y/N was too tired to go back to the apartment on her own, Howard picked up Y/N, bridal style, and moved Y/N into a room with a cot at the base. Nor Howard or Peggy were about to leave the base until Steve and his team were back, and they definitely didn't want to leave Y/N alone. When Steve's team arrived at the base about a day later, he wasn't with them. The men almost instantly asked how Y/N was doing. Peggy and Howard told them that she hadn't moved from the cot nor had she eaten since she had heard the news.

When the men were questioned about Steve's whereabouts, they told the two that he was at the bar. Howard promised to watch out for Y/N as Peggy went to find Steve, with Steve's men promising the same. She arrived at the bar, that was basically all ruble now, following the radio she was hearing. When Steve came into view, he was sniffling and pouring himself a drink.

"Dr. Erskine said that... the serum wouldn't just effect my muscles, it would effect my cells," Steve began once he sensed Peggy's presence. "Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means um... I can't get drunk... Did you know that?"

"Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person," Peggy responded as she moved closer to him, sitting down. "He thought it could be one of the side effects... It wasn't your fault."

"Did you read the report?"

"Yes."

Steve scoffed. "Then you know that's not true... Did Y/N read them?"

"No."

"She should... She deserves to know the truth."

"You did everything you could. Y/N won't blame you for what happened..." She watched him take a drink. "Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him?" Steve looked at her, the look in his eyes seem to say yes. "Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it."

"I'm goin' after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop till all of HYDRA is dead or captured."

"You won't be alone."

"How is she?" Steve asked after a few moments of silence. "How's Y/N?"

"She hasn't taken it well... I've been trying my best, and so has Howard. But she needs you Steve. She needs her brother."