Treebros Oneshots

When it all feels so big, till it all feels so small

So who's ready for some (not so) straight-up angst?? This is based on that one scene in the musical between Evan and Heidi right before she sings So Big/So Small, but I'm making it between Connor and Evan! There will be a lot of differences, but I'm not trying to copy the entire scene, just about the first half will be almost the same dialogue

Trigger Warnings: Past su!c!de attempts and su!c!dal thoughts

The air was eerily still and quiet as Evan entered his home, toeing off his shoes and leaving them by the door. A sigh escaped his lips as he hung up his bag, replaying his mother's message in his mind from after she dropped him off outside and drove off to her class, informing him that there were Trader Joe's dumplings in the freezer he could eat.

Not hungry, Evan started up the stairs and down the hallway towards his room. His usual post-therapy routine was to spend the rest of the night either talking to his boyfriend or just unwinding in comfortable silence, but as he opened the door, he laid his eyes on a figure sitting on his bed, paper in hand and tears rolled down his face.

"Connor? What are you- what... what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you. I know how you can get after therapy so your mom let me in before she left to get you," He mumbled, voice wavering and his grip tightening on the paper.

Evan knew what he was holding. He knew it all too well. He felt his hands starting to get clammy and his heart beginning to pound. "Connor I can explain-"

"I didn't know," Connor cried, scoffing afterward, "how did I not know? I should have known,"

"I never told you,"

"You shouldn't have had to, Evan. You shouldn't have had to tell me."

The air was thick and heavy, crushing against Connor and Evan's shoulders until the dam walls broke for the smaller boy. Tears spilled over, streaming down his flushed cheeks. Evan couldn't look his lover in the eye, he was ashamed. "I lied about so many things, and... and last summer I just felt so alone..."

Connor could see in his face he wanted to say more, but something was stopping the words from leaving his mouth. His heart longed for his boyfriend, his everything, not being able to even think about the horrid thoughts and things that may have happened.

"Ev, you can tell me-"

"No, no I can't, you'll hate me!"

"Evan, no, I won't-" Connor met his lover's gaze and reached out his hand, only to have it shoved away.

"Well, you should, if you knew what I tried to do. If you knew who I am, just how broken I really am,"

Evan gripped the edge of his hoodie sleeve and wiped his nose, snot dripping as he wept. The taller male, after drying his eyes with the palm of his free hand, set down the letter he had been holding and rose to his feet. Connor laced his fingers with Evan's and pulled them close to his chest.

He set his right hand free and placed it on the other teen's cheek, taking his thumb and wiping the stray tears from his eyes. "I already know you, and I love you,"

He couldn't control it anymore. Sobs wracked Evan's small frame, leaving him practically gasping for breath as he tried desperately to dry his tears. He felt a pair of arms wrap around his midsection, pulling him into a warm embrace. Evan recognized Connor's bony fingers run through his short, sandy curls.

"I just- I felt so alone, and I couldn't find another foothold and just thought 'oh, this is it, this is my sign,' you know? To just let go and..." his voice trailed off, getting too choked up to finish his sentence, "I just did it, Connor, I didn't even think about it! I just... let go,"

Connor shushed the boy in his arms, running his hand up and down Evan's back, knowing it was something that was able to help calm him down. He tucked a strand of loose hair behind his ear and kissed the spot.

"Hey," he started, voice raspy from crying, "Hey, you're safe, you're alright, I've got you. One time... one time I stole some pills from the medicine cabinet and took them to the park one night. It was an impulse decision, spur of the moment. But Ev, no matter what you go through, you will never be alone, I'll be right by your side every day no matter what, I promise,"

Evan buried his face in his lover's shoulder, squeezing Connor's waist as he hugged him as tightly as he could. "I love you, Connor,"

"And I love you, Evan,"

Heyo! I hope you enjoyed this little evil oneshot and I hope you all have an amazing day/night!! I love you all ❤️