Treebros Oneshots

How did you break your arm?

Don't worry, it's not what you think.
I swear on my life that it's fluff.

"So, Murphy, Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much, or do you consider that an honor?"

"Jared," Connor slapped him with his one good hand, "that's not what happened."

"No, no, paint me the picture. You're in your bedroom, you've got your husbands Instagram pulled up on your iPhone while he's at work-"

"J-Jared! As he said, that's not what happened." Evan said, getting more flustered by the second.

"Sure."

"Jared I will fucking smack you." He threatened.

"Okay, then tell me how you broke your arm."

"I fell down the stairs."

"Yeah," Jared laughed, "I don't believe that bullshit for a second. Evan, Is that true?"

He sighed. "No, he broke his arm being a child."

"Oh, I can't wait to hear this one, Connor, enlighten me."

"Fine, but you're a dick, Jared."

~Flashback to last night~

Evan and Connor walked down the trail hand in hand. The two were on one of their weekly nature walks. Connor had never been that excited for them, but it made Evan happy, and anytime Evan was happy, he was happy.

The sounds of silver wedding bands clinking together could be heard through the quiet of nature.

Evan reached up on his tippy toes and placed a kiss on Connor's rough, chapped lips.

"My feet hurt," Evan whined.

"You wanna go sit at the picnic table by the playground over there?" Evan nodded.

Connor led his lover over to one of the tables just next to the playground.

"Hey," Connor smiled as his inner child came out of hiding, "Want me to push you on the swings?"

"You're a dork." Evan laughed as he dragged him over to the swings.

He sat down, feeling a bit squished, but waited for Connor to start pushing him. He kicked his legs back, telling Connor to push him higher.

After a few minutes, Connor kicked him off the swing, claiming that it was his turn to go.

"Connor, stop kicking your feet back, your gonna hit me."

"Slap me, pull my hair, touch me there and there and there."

"Connor! There are kids here, you can't sing Dead Girl Walking in public!" Connor giggled.

Not long after, Connor told Evan he could stop and proposed they play a game of hide and seek.

Agreeing that Evan would seek first, Connor ran off to the monkey bars, climbing and laying on the top of them.

After sixty seconds had passed, Evan uncovered his eyes and began searching for his childish husband.

He looked in slides and tunnels, behind trees and under tables, under the rock wall, but caught a glimpse of a black t-shirt out of the corner of his eye.

"Found you." He laughed, walking over to Connor's hiding spot.

"Yeah, you did." He flipped so that we were hanging upside down on the monkey.

"What are you doing? You're gonna fall and break your neck."

"Oh come on, kiss me."

So he did. He walked up to his lover and planted another kiss on his lips.

But then, Connor felt his legs beginning to give out. He didn't last much longer on there before he fell off the bars and onto his arm.

~

"You fell off the monkey bars? Oh my god, that's just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard. Connor, you're like twenty-seven."

"I know, he's lucky he didn't break his neck." Evan rolled his eyes and sat on the couch in between Jared and Connor.

"Whatever, Jared, you're an asshole."

"Still, it's sad. You should've just lied and agreed with me about breaking your arm while jerking off, you could've kept some of your dignity."

"Oh fuck you."

"Nope, I've got my own husband to do that."

"Jared!"

Hi humans!! Wow, I never post this early. So I'm sorry about the really bad ending, I had no ideas on how to end it so, I guess that's okay. Also, don't forget to submit your drawings for the cover art contest by midnight tonight! (Preferably midnight EST but whenever is good for you). Blame any typos on Grammarly cause they're screwing shit up all the time for me
Love you all!