Let it burn

Pillows

Tour was coming to an end and Andy has been spending more time on my bus. After we wrap up here, he's headed out for another tour that will have him on the road until next year. I was thankful for him being here I genuinely loved his company, but something seems different. Since the other night he's been extra.. I don't know needy? He wants to be with me every minute of the day and he's been wanting more in the bedroom. I've tried some new things but I couldn't do it. They made feel weird and no matter how much I envision it with Charlee it wasn't enough. I atleast tried what Andy found pleasure in but it wouldn't be revisited. Getting out of bed I go to the bathroom to do my morning routine. As I sat in there I scroll through my socials and don't see a post from Charlee. She hadn't posted yet and I felt a little defeated. I enjoyed her morning thoughts. Scrolling through absent mindly I start to wander off in my thoughts. How could I get into her network? Was she into the bands here? Did she have muteral friends? Searching up her name I couldn't find it. Checking on my spam account still nothing. Was I blocked? With a sigh I check today's news and find nothing interesting apart from a billionaire having an affair. Well you hear a lot about that and it wasn't a surprise. It was America after all and especially in LA there was a lot of wealthy men dating or having affairs with their hot younger workers. Once I was all done I head out and get dressed for the day. Andy was now awake and trudged to the bathroom.

"We eating at the tent?" I ask and he responds back with a groggy yes. His morning voice was like Darth Vader and it was adorable. Out of us he was the morning person despite his voice being so deep and husky. Heading to the tents we grab some food and sit with the many other artists and friends here.

"How's that billionaire they just found was sleeping with his coworker and the wife took him for everything?" Jake asks the table and I laugh.

"Serves him right. Don't cheat." I say and he nods.

"Still hilarious if you ask me." CC says and I nod. It was humorous but I felt bad for the women who had to have their heart broken like that. I've had my fair share of shitty ex's who cheated on me for prettier women and it hurts. It breaks you in ways you'll never know the depths of until one day four years later your breaking down in a change room wearing the prettiest dress on the shelf feeling as if your ugly.
Finishing up my food I see I had thirty minutes until my set so I head back to the bus to warm up.

As I perform my songs that I was getting sick of I scan the crowd hoping that maybe I'll see Charlee. I always had my hopes up to see her face. I'm sure she was a fan. Her name was on the mailing list for some of my depop clothes and merch. Not that I'm a stalker.. ok maybe a little. The set finished and I head to the meet and greet hoping that I'd see her but as the last fan walks up I am left feeling alone. I shouldn't feel this way, I have Andy what the fuck was wrong with me? Was it curiosity of a woman's touch or was it I really liked her and wanted to have her? With those thoughts I leave and sit on my bus using my thoughts as inspiration for my new ep I planned to write while Andy was on tour. My thoughts ran wild and I used the feelings I had in this moment to really create the vision I wanted. Charlee was the fictional character that I loved but didn't know all while feeling that this obsession was platonic. I write down guitar notes before I'm broken from my work to see Andy walk in.

"Hey baby." He says sitting on the couch next to me. Smiling I give him a kiss before packing away my things. Cuddling up we watch a movie on the bus enjoying the company of ourselves. It was these moments that shook away the thought of Charlee and it made me feel normal again. I really needed to figure it out before it breaks us.

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Andy's POV

I couldn't help but feel insecure about the situation between Juliet and I. First it started off with her saying some of the sexual drives I have were weird, then she moaned a dudes name. Was she loosing interest in me? Did she cheat on me? I get I'm not home a lot because of tour schedules but would she really cheat on me to fill an empty void? My heart ached and no matter what way I thought to ask about it I always came out looking like the dick. It's eating me alive though, my paranoia is through the roof and I have become clingy. In my mind if I was clingy and giving her all this attention she wouldn't leave me. I didn't want to start over, build my heart up again especially since it took me years to love after Scout. Juliet was kinda my rebound girl who I eventually fell hopelessly in love with. As much as I hated to admit that, it was true and it's something I hope Juliet never found out. I get to her bus and there she laid peacefully with her glasses and reading a book. This year Juliet was sharing a bus with a chick named Bebe she was cool and weird like Juliet. I lay on top of my love and she smiles brightly at me before pressing her lips against mine.