Let it burn

Dead Woman Walking

Charlee's POV

I wasn't ok. I'd barely slept since the incident, I wasn't sober, my body ached and I mentally was exhausted. Every day I had a war with my mind on what to wear. Was I provoking unwanted attention? Did the guys see me as a slut? Was I really to blame? All these taunting thoughts swirled in my mind every day. I couldn't sleep in my own bus, I was to share a room with Andy when we stayed at hotels and I felt trapped. The guys didn't make sexual jokes anymore in fear that it would trigger me. A part of me was triggered but a huge part of me didn't understand why. It wasn't a big deal was it? Was I just so numb to the severity because of my job at the strip club? I was so lost. I didn't feel like a human rather a shell of a dead woman walking. Thankfully we were headed back to the US which meant tour was almost over and things could go back to normal. So I hoped. Andy's alarm goes off and he groans as he reaches for his phone. I pretend that I'd just woke up and get out of the bunk.

"It's too early for this shit!" CC shouts in his sleepy voice. Laughing I head to my bus and pack up everything. Most of it was already packed but there was a lot of baggies I had to dispose of without getting caught. Managing to clear out empty red bull cans and some rubbish I throw it in the bin and continue packing. Luck was on my side today. We load up the van and climb in finding our seats.

"I'm ready to for the warmer weather." Jake says and I nod. As the driver starts driving I put my feet up on Andy's lap giving him more leg space since he's a giant and all. Over the last few weeks I've gotten close to the guys so I was able to be closer to Andy and it not be weird.

"Is Juliet coming out on tour?" Jinxx asks and Andy sighs.

"I'd like her too and that was the plan but since Charlee is on our bus now it seems like it would be too much." Andy says and I rest my head on CC's shoulder.

"We have heads of room and besides Char can bunk in with me. I don't mind." CC says and Andy looks at me for my approval.

"Don't look at me like I have a choice asshole." I say and he chuckles awkwardly. He knew I didn't have a choice and I know he didn't want me to sleep in any one else's bed. I was his and I was theirs. No one knew what we did when no one was watching. He couldn't let them know. Not yet atleast.

"We will see how we go if it's too much Charlee you can get your own bus." Andy says and I smile. Best thing I've heard him say. The drive to the airport was quiet and andy was messaging Juliet. I know because my phone was vibrating none stop. I'd read the messages later.

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The plane lands and we walked straight to our bus. Finally having a moment to check my phone I read the messages.

Juliet: I'll be meeting you guys in a week. Char can keep my spot warm until then xx

Andy: I wish the bunk was bug enough for the three of us 😔😔

Juliet: It will be over soon and we will all be in our bed at home xx

Andy: This tour was a nightmare babe

Juliet: I can't even imagine. It was hell without you both

Charlee: We behaved though

Andy: Didn't make it easy though 😏

Juliet: That's cause your so damn gorgeous Char 😘😘

Charlee: Pfft it's cause I sleep naked 😏

Andy: And cause your god damn cute x

Juliet: I will definitely be getting a good seeing too haha 😂😘😘

Charlee: On the counter in the bathroom 😉