Let it burn

I Would've

Ronnie's POV:

I sat on the kitchen bench staring at the mug in my hands. These days seemed to be more harder then the last. Emilyn told me she was pregnant and I had mixed feelings. I wasn't ready to be a father again. I'd been holding on by the skin of my teeth with the two I already had. After Charlee I swore to never love again. A one night stand was all I needed and yet somehow I wound up here. Why the fuck did this keep happening to me? First Sally, then Charlee and now Emilyn. The relationship with Sally and I was mainly my guilt of a one night stand. It was beautiful while it lasted but we were never meant to be. Sally even agrees we only brought out the worst in each other. Charlee was different. The first time we had sex there was a spark that I drowned. I thought of her despite pretending to only vaguely remember her at that house party. Those memories live rent free in my mind. They're the only thing keeping me going. I someday could share them with our daughter. Fuck I wish it wasn't me telling our story alone. I couldn't stop thinking about how Rory called Emilyn mom either. She looked so much like Charlee. Was it was my mind playing tricks on me because I miss her so much or if she genuinely looked like my lost love I didn't care. I didn't want another kid, at least not right now but what if it was for a reason? There's a part of me that wanted to see where things could go with Emilyn. Rory could call her mom, I could pretend that she was Charlee and make it easier for myself. Yet that would be wrong. To lie about that to my child. That's messed up. Then again I've been messed up since she left this earth. Fuck.

"I would've loved you." I whisper to myself. Closing my eyes I let the tears escape and the sobs fall from my lips. My phone starts ringing and I take a deep breath. Looking it was Andy.

"Hey what's up?" I ask and he was quiet. Turning the volume up I listen in to see if I could hear anything in the background. My phone flashes with a message and it's from Andy. Dragging it down I read.

Andy: Just listen. I'm scared bro.

"Andy I know your hiding something and I hate that it's come to this." I hear an unfamiliar voice.

"Jeff I have nothing I'm hiding. What makes you think I'm hiding something?" Andy asks and this Jeff guy sighs.

"I can smell the fear on you son. Not to mention the guilty look you have sported since Juliet come home." Jeff says.

"I don't know what your on about Jeff. There's nothing to hide." Andy says and I feel like something bad was going to happen. Taking it upon myself I message Emilyn.

Ronnie: Andy's in trouble. I know you can't do anything but just thought I'd let you know in going to Juliet's parents house.

Emilyn: For fucks sake

Ronnie: He's my best friend and potentially the father of your child. I need to help him.

Emilyn: You have two children of your own Ronnie. I'll go handle it.

Ronnie: Like fuck you are! That child could also be mine and in not letting you go. At least not alone.

Emilyn: Ronnie I will not tell you again. You leave your house and I will bust a cap in your leg to make sure you stay home.

Ronnie: Well best you do because I'm leaving.

Rushing upstairs I put on a pair of sweats and a hoodie before grabbing my keys. As I head downstairs I hear a loud car roaring up my street. Fucking hoons. Opening the door I'm met with Emilyn stood in my driveway.

"I'm not fucking fighting with you. Either you drive me there or you don't go either." I say sternly and she gets back in her car. Locking the house I get in and she looks at me. Her face said it all but she backs out and steps on the gas.