A year as a Narnian || 365 Narnia one shots (Part one)

120: I can't lose you

April 30th - Prompt: How to save a life

Tw: (Mentions of) Self harm

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"Will you just go away and leave me alone!"

Peter swallowed hard, before taking a deep shaky breath and stepping back a bit, nodding his head. "Right." He whispered. "Sorry."

Edmunds eyes filled with tears at the look on his brother's face, and he instantly felt bad... after all Peter was only looking out for him, making sure he was okay.

But the truth was he wasn't okay. It had been exactly one year to the day since he had run off to the witches castle, and he wasn't coping well. He was carrying around so much guilt it felt like a backpack filled with rocks, he wasn't sleeping a lot, and he wasn't really eating. It was clear it still bothered him, and probably always would.

But right now that look on Peter's face bothered him more, he felt so guilty for snapping at him like that when he was only trying to make him feel better.

Peter was trying his hardest to keep Edmund's mind off everything, to keep him occupied and to keep him from slipping into a depressed stage, which Edmund was extremely close to, and that was probably why Peter was trying so hard... because it had happened before.

About three weeks after their coronation, someone had called Edmund a traitor straight to his face. It had been just as he had started to get back to his old self again, started to be happy, and it just reversed it all.

He didn't talk to anyone for at least two weeks, hardly came out of his room, didn't sleep, hardly ate and never once smiled.

Peter was so scared that it would happen again because of the anniversary, so he was trying everything he could to make sure that didn't happen.

Which is why he had looked so upset when Edmund had shouted at him.

"No." Edmund choked eventually. "No, I'm sorry."

He ran a hand through his already messy hair, before leaving the room, slamming the door behind him.

Peter sighed sadly, sitting down at the end of his bed and staring at the closed door.

Despite trying his hardest, he knew Edmund was struggling, he knew he wasn't sleeping a lot, had noticed he wasn't eating as much as he would usually eat, it had only been going on about a week or so, but he was scared already.

With another sigh he decided to go and find Susan and Lucy, after all it was clear Edmund wanted to be alone, and even though he was worried, Peter decided to give Edmund the time he needed, after all, if he went after him right now he'd probably make things even worse, and he certainly didn't want to do that.

☆☆☆

Despite everything, Peter found himself pacing his room around two hours later, wondering just where his brother had gone.

He'd been told by Tumnus that he'd seen him leaving the castle, so he knew he was out, which is what worried him a little seeming as it was currently chucking it down and blowing a gale, which was odd for late spring, but he didn't pay much attention to that.