Darkness And Light: One Shots - [The School for Good And Evil]

Chap 32 / Lady Lesso - Not your fault pt. 2

Prompt: Lesso's past pt. 2 (again, Lesso is about 20 y/o)

TW: panic attack, mention of rape

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I'm three months late. Three months late on my period. Fuck.

I walked around the room and pulled my hair as the door opened and Clarissa walked in.

"What's the matter?" She asked, I called for her five minutes ago.

"I'm three months late.." I whispered in panic.

"What?"

"I'm three months late on my period!" I yelled a little louder and threw my hands into the air.

"Oh." Clarissa said and stood there, shocked, not knowing what to do.

"Oh? OH?! That is not an answer to that thing!"

"Are you.. pregnant? Have you slept with anyone in the last months?"

I still haven't told her about what happened. And I'm not planning to do it. I'll seem weak, and she'll think I'm disgusting. She'll hate me.. if she ever knew.

"No! I am not pregnant!" I said and shook my head, walking around the room again.

"What else? What else could it be? If not, then let's get you to our school doctor." She suggested and pulled her dress up to sit on the bed.

"No. No, no doctors."

"Then what? Someone has to take a look at you!"

"No! I mean, I've been in the same room for months, nobody knows I'm here except for your. And it will stay so!" She can't do this to me. I'm not pregnant. I'm not. I'm not pregnant. Not from that bastard I called my husband.

"Then.. take off your shirt, I will take a look!" Clarissa smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh, no. No. No. No. I'll not get naked in front of you."

"Why not?" Clarissa crealy didn't get it.

I wasn't beautiful like her. I didn't have the smile like her. The hair like hair. A voice like her. The talents like her. I'm not like her. I'm.. I'm Leonora, the little girl who couldn't fight against the man she married.

I'm Leonora and not Clarissa. I'm the opposite of my name's meaning, I'm the opposite of Clarissa. I'm not good. I'm angry. I'm evil. But she acts like I deserve everything. Like I was worth the patient she had with me. The smile she gifted. But I wasn't. I wasn't worth it.

"Why not, Lesso?" She asked again, I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Because! I don't want to."

"It's just us, I mean- I respect you! It's still just.. us." She whispered 'us' and smiled sadly.

"So what? I'm not taking my clothes off in front of you."

"But otherwise we can't take a look at your stomach, maybe you are pregnant?" She shrugged her shoulders again and sighed.

"Bullshit! I am not pregnant!"

"Why do you ache from it? It's nothing bad."

"No!"

"Lesso!" Clarissa shouted suddenly and I stayed quiet, she never yelled at me. She was losing her patience with me. I messed up.

"You don't have to tell me what happened to you. I get that. But you need to trust me, at least try to trust me! Please!" She folded her hands and looked at me with her puppy dog eyes.

I looked down, didn't know what to say. I try to trust her. I do trust her. Why shouldn't I? She was the nicest person I've ever met and she was so incredibly beautiful. She was the best thing that ever happened to me.

And I mess up.

"Lesso? Come on.. We need to find out why you're late-"

"I'm not pregnant!" I yelled and looked away, feeling the anger grow. I'm not pregnant. How could I be? I mean.. I.. I didn't want to be..

"Then what is going on?! You have to find out!" She yelled back and jumped from the bed.

"I got raped! THAT IS, WHAT'S GOING ON!" I cried out, my eyes wide open, I realized what I just said.

What I just confessed.

"I- I- No- that- I-" I stumbled and tripped away.

"Lesso.." Clarissa whispered, tears in her eyes. Why is she crying? Why isn't she mad? Disgusted?

Why did I tell her..?

"I'm.. I'm so sorry.. I shouldn't have- you- Oh my god.. I'm a terrible friend- I didn't mean to- to push you-" She blinked over and over again, she was shocked.

And that's about not planning to tell her.. God.. What is wrong with me..?

I looked down, then I felt her hand on my shoulder, I flinched back but then I let her pull me into a hug. First just slightly but then she held me tightly and I just stood there. I didn't know what to do.

I wasn't used to... soft touches.

It felt.. new..

Like something I need. Something I craved for so long and now I got it. I didn't know how to show back that I enjoyed her embrace.

Should I hug her back..? Should.. should I let it happen? What..what..

What is going on?

My breath started to fasten, my lungs started pumping as if I ran for hours.

"Clarissa-" I gasped, she pulled away and looked at me.

"Oh- dear! Sit down!" She pulled me to the bed and sat me down, I grabbed the blanket and tried to regulate my breath, it didn't work actually I was making it worse

"Lesso, look at me." She said, I nodded and looked at the woman in front of me, with her brown curly hair. Her dark skin and brown eyes with pink makeup around them. Clarissa with her soft red lips and that soft voice that keeps me alive..

"It's okay, you're panicking, you need to calm down!" She said, grabbing my hands.

"Focus on my touch." I nodded and closed my eyes, just holding her hands. Clarissa stroked over my hand and looked up to me, since she was sitting on the floor, her dress wided like a balloon.

I calmed.

"See, it's okay." She smiled and I smiled back slightly.

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Author note-

Pt. 3 will be published today evening :)

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