Deadland

Chapter 74- The End Was With You

(TW!! Mentions of past over-dosing!!)

All of us, minus Scott, Annie, and the man who got bit, disperse to search cars or find one that works. Nicholas and Heath go together, Glenn and Michonne go together, and Damien and I go together. 

I look at the town as Damien and I walk in silence. All of the buildings' colors are dull, the signs and windows are broken and there's so much litter on the ground. There are so many cars on each side of the road that I don't even know where to start. 

I spot a car to the right and open the driver's side door of a small Nissan, Damien opens the door behind the passenger's seat. 

"Hey, Damien?" I ask, climbing under the wheel to see if I can hotwire the car. 

"Mhm?" He responds, searching under seats for any secret stash of something. 

"You know how you and I are like...tight?" 

He chuckles, "Yeah?" I hear him straighten up and round to the passenger side to search through the dashboard and center console. 

"Why are you not close with anyone other than Abraham, 'Lyss, and I? I've noticed it, 'Lyss's noticed it, I think everyone else is starting to too." 

He sighs and pauses looking through the dashboard. It takes him a second to answer, I think he's trying to figure out what to say and how to say it. 

"I'm not-" He cuts himself off. 

I curse under my breath as I fail to hotwire the car for the second time. 

"I feel like..." He inhales sharply, "I don't feel like I'm a part of the group. I never have." 

His words make me stop, sit up, and look at him. I can tell he's not lying because his words don't have his usual spunk to them and his eyes are duller than normal. 

"What?" I exclaim. 

He clenches his jaw and sits in the passenger seat, I mirror him by sitting in the driver's seat though we're both facing each other. 

"Why don't you feel a part of this group?" 

He shrugs, "You had to convince Rick to let me stay. I tag along with you on 'missions' or whatever the fuck because I feel like an outsider when you're not there. Abraham and 'Lyss help but you make me feel like I'm a part of the group. I try to talk to everyone but every time I do I cut myself off because I think they see me as a stranger. Even though half of this group wasn't at the farm." 

Ow.

I shake my head, "You obviously haven't met this group. You've been with us for like...a year? Two years? How long has it been since the farm-anyway, you are a part of this group. Through and through. But...nobody really knows you enough for you to not be classified as a stranger." His eyes soften and he nods. 

I continue with a slightly softer voice, "They know you and I are tight and you, Abe, and I are a trio. They know you and Michonne are chill. They know you see 'Lyss as a little sister and she never takes your damn red hat off, but they don't know you. You have to start changing that." 

He nods, "I feel like it's too late." 

I scoff, "My ass. It's the goddamn apocalypse, we could all die tomorrow. I would rather you start talking to them now than you wasting your time being afraid of them."

I think for a moment, "When we get home, your ass has to start at least two conversations with two different people." 

Damien looks at me like I just asked him to deep clean a sewage tank. "Two?!"