Twisted Wonderland

Extra Demands

Idia walks into the conference room the overbloters were assigned to. Some of them lounge in the chairs while others stand.

Vil quirks an eye at Idia. "Ah, I see the acting director and his aide have finally decided to grace us with their presence. Would you be here to offer some words of gratitude to the subjects who completed your entire slate of tests?"

"Hey, Radish Sprout." Leona says with his feet kicked up on the table. "What's up with all this canned food and powdered junk? They make the cheap steaks at the school cafeteria look like five-star restaurant fare."

Jamil nods. "Agreed. Nutritionally speaking it's fine, but I can't eat foods with such unconsidered flavor and texture. Oh, but if this is traditional Island of Woe cuisine, then I do apologize for my discourtesy."

"IDIA!" Riddle storms over to Idia. "I demand you supply me with tea this instant! Rule three hundred thirty nine states: The post-meal beverage is to be lemon tea with two sugar cubes. I know we're not on campus, but as Heartslabyul housewarden, it falls to me to uphold the rules wherever I can."

"Idia." Azul says more gently. "I know better than to ask for unfettered internet access, but at least let me read the morning and evening papers. Preferably one that focuses on world and economic news. I need to stay on top of my investments."

Idia rolls his eyes. "Yap, yap, yap. What is this, a zoo? You guys are forgetting the chain of command here. I really wish I didn't have to keep spelling it out, but I'M THE BOSS!"

Vil smirks. "In that case, I have some choice words for 'the boss.' Isn't it YOUR JOB to make sure we're treated adequately after you dragged us here by force?" Vil looks at his nails. "If I might quote Styx's core mission, you ensure our 'magical lives are safe to explore.' And we're all contributing our data to your efforts for free. I think we're entitled to a reward."

Idia folds his arms. "Do you all realize you overblotted and caused serious problems for everyone around you?"

"Certainly." Vil looks back to Idia with a grin. "But I never caused any trouble for YOU."

Leona folds his arms behind his head. "Some people just like playing the victim and lording it over the offender, even when it didn't impact 'em at all."

"Uh, excuse me," Idia grumbles. "Your overblotting has majorly impacted me. Again, I didn't ask to do this. Now I'm way behind on my favorite character's event, and all my consecutive login bonuses are shot. I've got a bone to pick with ALL you epic troublemakers. Why did both my parents have to step out now, of all times?"

"Maybe they thought the subjects would be more at ease, since you all know each other." Ortho shrugs.

Idia rolls his eyes and groans. "Anyone with two brain cells could figure out that it's infinitely harder BECAUSE we know each other. Classic Mom and Dad, always prioritizing efficiency over people's feelings. Their travel logs show they're headed to the Land of Dawning to investigate things further. Probably to question the headmage. Y'know, since he's the one in charge of the school with all the troublemakers. If they needed my help, they could've at least given me THAT job instead."

Ortho floats in front of Idia to whisper. "But this is the first time you've had friends over, right? I'm rather happy about that, myself."

"Friends?" Idia quirks an eye.

Ortho nods. "Yeah. We haven't experienced this personally, but, I've seen lots of scenes in TV shows and anime where classmates or clubmates hang out at each other's houses. It's called having friends over. Isn't it a perfectly common form of socializing for regular people?"

"Maybe for regular people. But for us? It's just fiction." Idia folds his arms. "Besides, this wasn't having friends over. It was forcibly dragging acquaintances into a lab and making them test subjects."

"But you still brought people you know into your residence." Ortho argues.

"It's not the same." Idia shakes his head. "Those two things are as different as Elysium and the Underworld. You need to update your logic systems. And who would call this bunch of troublemakers friends, anyway? You gotta be kidding me."

"Excuse me, what are you two whispering about?" Vil asks. "Are you even listening to us? Now that we're finished with the tests, I'd like to get in my daily workout or some yoga."

Jamil nods. "I could use a bit of exercise myself."

"Give me meat." Leona demands. "Any kind."

"I must have tea!"

"Bring me a business paper!"

"Shut! Up!" Idia yells. "You're all going home tomorrow. Would it kill you to exercise a LITTLE PATIENCE?"

An alarm blares, red lights flashing.

"Testing of Subjects ROS-859A and SUS-3320B will commence at 1300. Currently thawing Phantom subjects' cages. The facility will go into full lockdown for the duration of the test to ensure the safety of all personnel. All personnel, please return to your stations immediately."

Idia tilts his head. "Oh, I guess there's an A-class Phantom test today. That's gonna take a while. Well, guys, you're not leaving this room for the next two or three hours. You're gonna have to entertain yourselves."

"WHAT?"