ALiVE (KHR Fanfic)

54. Subconscious

54. Subconscious

I didn't make it to the Mist Battle, but something happened after that, which made me miss the Cloud Battle as well.

Stupid author that's too lazy to find ways to include me in the freaking battles.

This is an account of what happened in those twenty-four hours I did not wake up.

-

It started with a murder of crows.

They flew right past me-- painfully close to my face-- and as I snapped back to see them go, they had lifted into the skies and only one had settled onto a branch of the nearby tree.

A tree. That was when I took in my surroundings.

Serene, empty blue skies, and patches of perfect, spotless green hills that stretched out further than I reckoned I could see. I was standing in the middle, alone, with nothing but a white shirt and a pair of black trousers I did not remember putting on.

On my left wrist, the light trail of my birthmark was there again-- I've been reluctant to look at it for the longest time. I've always covered it first thing in the morning, barely taking a glance. Putting my eyes on it again after so long seemed strange-- and somehow foreign.

I rubbed it over with my right thumb-- and brought the wrist to my forehead, closing my eyes in my semblance of a prayer.

"Please watch over me, brothers," I whispered familiarly, and stayed like that for a long moment.

-

When I opened my eyes, I noticed someone else was here with me. I swerved my head around, trying to locate another presence--

The man, seemingly understanding that I had taken acknowledgement of his being there, gave a chuckle.

A familiar, ominous chuckle of "Kufufufu," followed by the amused "My, my."

He was right behind me, I thought. But when I turned around no one was there.

"I'm here," he told me.

I turned back around. There one man with indigo hair stood, a smile on his face as he looks at me, as if he's been there all along. His smile was somehow anticlimactic-- it was kind, sweet and holding just a tint of mischief. A sly, older brother smile (or was it a playful younger brother?) -- it was the smile that I thought would only belong to Chrome.

And I couldn't help but smile back.

-

"So..." our conversation began awkwardly, even though the atmosphere was comfortable, "...Why am I here?"

I asked Mukuro that question, but I really didn't think he would know the answer either.

He chuckles. "Who knows?"

I sigh. "And Mukuro?" I spoke to him, "What are you doing here?"

I did not know the time. I didn't know, but I'm pretty sure now was around the time of the Mist Battle. But Mukuro wouldn't be here if the battle was still going on.

"This is my space," Mukuro simply answered, "It's not the question of 'why am I here', because I just simply am."

Seems neither of us ever had an idea of the going-ons around us.

"Well, it's a nice place." I decided to tell him. Standing up from my spot on the grassy hill, I turned to him with a grin. "It's a nice place, but I hope I don't come back here."

He returned with a rather unreadable smile. "Well, neither do I wish to see you here again."

Well, we have more in common than we thought.

"In fact, it is more likely that we may never meet again." Mukuro was entirely serious, but that tone of his-- that carefree, yet endlessly entertained tone that spoke as if the world was a funny thing-- that irritatingly cheerful tone, yet to me it sounded painful.

"Next time we meet," I admitted to him, "Let's hope it's outside, alright?"

-

I found myself drifting to and fro various dreams after that. I walked into one dream, then another and another and yet another, endlessly, as if I was taking a leisurely soak in watching dreams go by.

There were times I dreamt of the story. Of this story. Of the arcs that would come, and the arcs that have gone by; of all the things that may or may not have happened with and without me.

Other times I watched scenes of what Ninomiya Rei experienced. Everything-- his childhood, his friendships, his experiences and his newfound hobbies. Often I'd see painful moments Rei had yet to get over-- and really, it was all but null as I observed it in third person.

I went back and forth, dreaming of everything as if I was reviewing my life once again--

The dream I saw last was about her. 

Drew and her brothers, on their dinner table, a delightful atmosphere of familial bonding. A chorus of joyful giggles as they chattered about their days.

I looked upon them from the sides, as a ghost that was not yet supposed to exist. 

They didn't notice me, and thus I, leaning against the wall, simply viewed the scene with a slightly delighted smile.

It was a sweet dream. A nice piece of the nostalgia puzzle.

I almost wondered if my life now with Sae and Sui was as happy as Drew's.

My eyes drifted to Zen. He was lecturing Drew about playing with food now, prompting her to eat properly. Drew responded with a mischievous giggle.

Then there was Eve, who sighed in defeat. "Seriously, Drew, when are you gonna grow up?" he joked, "Hurry up and finish up your food, then I'll play that stupid computer game with you."

A cheer, and Drew was gobbling down her food like no tomorrow.

Eve stood up, gathering up his plates, and notified his brother that he'll clean up ahead. His eyes lifted and swung across the room once. 

For a second, I thought those eyes landed on me.

A second later, I realized that those eyes were staring at me.

Those eyes-- those warm, brown eyes widened seemingly in horror.

He put the plates down-- and stepped forward. Coming closer toward me-- he took a hurried step after another-- a hand extended toward me.

His lips parted to say something-- to shout something--

But that was where I woke up with a start.