ALiVE (KHR Fanfic)

115. His

115. His

Before the Vindice Attacked.

"Yamamoto,"

Gokudera never liked any time with Yamamoto. Not when they've already gotten along so terribly-- not when the situation is so dire. But Gokudera felt he needed to speak out.

Tsuna was around too-- it was a good moment to bring this up. 

They had left the hospital a while ago-- where they met Drew briefly, and left. None of them felt the need to stay any longer than needed. There was also the emergency scuffle with Chrome, which added on to the pressure they held.

Chrome had begged to be added onto the Representative Battles-- and Tsuna had refused. She was resolved, and she was serious. Her life was at its limit, and she was in no condition-- yet, she pleaded for a chance to put her spark to the test.

It was with great pains that Tsuna denied her, but Gokudera, as unemotional as he was, could empathize. Ninomiya Rei was announced his deadline; and Chrome went into critical due to her organs-- these two events happening at the same time were much too severe, much to hard to take in. 

Two, two of his very close friends would most likely be lost by the end of the week if nothing were done, and Gokudera couldn't even begin to imagine how Tsuna felt about it. Gokudera felt like shit already, and he could confidently say he didn't care for Chrome and Rei.

Tsuna? Tsuna, who treasured the both of them? Gokudera wanted to kill himself for not being able to help his Boss out of the pain.

There was also the matter of the both of them persistently rejecting Mukuro's illusions-- but there was no way to make them back out of that state of mind. Mukuro didn't seem pleased with the turn of events either when they last saw him in the hospital.

This didn't even need to happen, so why did it have to get so complicated?

Yamamoto spent five minutes of the walk in silence-- but then he brought on his smile again, fitting his cheery farce again, trying to be himself.

It wasn't worth dwelling on. Everyone was confused, conflicted, and didn't know what to do. This was a situation they didn't understand-- Rei being replaced by someone they, didn't, know. They didn't know how they were supposed to treat her.

"What, Gokudera?" Yamamoto responded to the address naturally, expecting a fight in the back of his mind.

Tsuna was sullen. He knew that serious tone Gokudera used-- or maybe he just felt like Gokudera wasn't in the mood for his quarreling. Tsuna took this situation with a confused heart, unable to walk past it.

But everyone knew that Yamamoto took it the hardest.

"What do you think of Ninomiya?" Gokudera asked, his steps coming to a stop.

Tsuna's flinched-- and Yamamoto froze. His expression falling into a gloom, he clenched a fist but kept his cool. Managing a simper, he chortled, "What's this all of a sudden?"

With a tut, Gokudera looked away, "I'm not one to say this," Gokudera grumbled reluctantly. An angered look on his face as he chose his words, he tried to keep it simple. "Isn't it a little unfair that you've been by his side the whole time;" he scoffed, "but now that it's her instead of him, you leave without a word?"

Yamamoto bit his lip in frustration. "I don't really get what you're trying to say, Gokudera," he choked out the words, his voice trembling now.

Evidently, he wasn't stupid enough to not know. He knew what he was doing, and he knew that it was wrong. He, he-- Yamamoto couldn't bear it-- He couldn't bear to see a Rei that was so different, so pained, and holding a poker face so well worn, Yamamoto couldn't read through it. 

Rei was always terrible at lying, terrible at hiding, and Yamamoto always knew everything about him. Yamamoto always cared about Rei above all else. Yamamoto secretly felt proud of how much he knew about Rei-- everyone called him mysterious-- but Yamamoto knew everything about Rei and he liked it that way.

Drew's existence was like a mountain of bricks to his understanding.

 Yamamoto didn't want to admit how childish he was being.

"I haven't known him for long," Gokudera mumbled, "So to me, he calls himself different but I don't see it. He's still that stubborn, suicidal moron always pretending he's cooler than he is. He's still a retard that values looking tough to his own health."

Yamamoto fought the urge to agree.

"Ninomiya and his past..." Gokudera genuinely wondered, "don't you think they'd have more similarities than differences?" 

Yamamoto's eyes widened-- that struck a very painful nerve. Why? Because-- no, did Yamamoto not even notice that possibility? Did Yamamoto not see it? How?

"Oh, my bad," Gokudera, a sigh at his lips, continued walking. Patting Yamamoto on the shoulder as he passed by, Gokudera gave him a half-hearted apology, thinking he was just spouting unnecessarily sappy bullshit. "You know him better, so I guess you already knew about it. Well, if it doesn't affect your opinion of Ninomiya, just forget I said anything."

What exactly was different about Rei and Drew?

They were both so bad at dealing with their emotions. Their poker faces are bad enough for everyone to see it as a mask. When he lies, he smiles. When he's hurting, he keeps quiet. When he feels like he'd be a burden, he acts tough to get people off his case. When he knows everyone is worried about him-- he secludes himself and cries alone.

They're both idiots, Yamamoto realized, What was so different about them? So what if a little lying was around? What if he acts a little different from usual?

His feelings, his brokenness, his everything-- they were still Rei. From a different lifetime? What about it? Rei was Rei and only experiences catered his personality to its route. 

Drew was Rei-- just a Rei from something like a parallel universe. One that fused with Rei, joined with Rei, and was with Rei this whole time. She was always there for Rei, so why can't Yamamoto accept her? 

She was still Rei, and yet Yamamoto couldn't see that little fact. He was too stupid, too stubborn, too narrow-minded to even realize how much he was hurting Rei.

What kind of childhood friend is he if he couldn't even be there for Rei at his worst? Rei didn't even have much longer-- he'd be gone before Yamamoto even knew it-- so what if Drew wasn't the one Yamamoto knew on the surface? 

Everything will be gone if Rei didn't make it through the week!

Rei's gonna die, die, die. And Yamamoto gets into a cold war with him now? 

What was he thinking?

They shared the same heart, same feelings-- without a doubt, Yamamoto was friends with the both of them. Not one nor the other, but both.

Tsuna looked on worriedly, not finding it in him to speak out.

Gokudera and Yamamoto were always at odds-- but to Tsuna, this was the most emotional battle they've ever had. They didn't even said much-- but damage was finally dealt to Yamamoto.

This was the first time Tsuna saw Yamamoto's tears.