The Hollows In Our Freedom | 'Hollows' Book Ⅲ

Chapter Sixty-Four

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T h e H o l l o w s I n 
O U R F R E E D O M
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A L E X I

It was the door closing that alerted me that I had company. I fixed the toilet roll onto the holder and shoved the rest into the cupboard bellow the sink, trying to close the cupboard doors as quietly as I could.

I looked up into the mirror, seeing teary eyes and a red nose.

Great.

A knock at the bathroom door was expected, though it still startled me slightly. "Lex?"

If not by the voice, I knew it by the nickname. It was Jace.

I turned the tap on before splashing my face once. "I'm just washing my hands." I called out to him, before going in to splash my face again. I dried my face with what looked like a clean towel on one of the shelves before sorting out my disheveled hair.

I took one last breath before opening the door, meeting Jace on the other side.

His eyes met my face instantly. "Are you okay?"

I rolled my eyes, huffing. "Why does everyone keep asking that?"

"Because you seem off. And I know you're upset about what happened to Sapphire."

I uselessly started to rifle through my bag, as if I was going to find something important. "Well of course I am, everyone is."

I found something in the side pocket, then I realised what it was. The necklace Jace had gotten me for my birthday. I didn't want to lose it or to damage it, but I did want to bring it with me on our mission, so I kept it in my bag.

I clutched onto it as Jace said. "You know you can tell me anything, right, Lex? You can be honest with me."

I had my back to him, but I think it was obvious when I started to break.

"It's just.." suddenly the air became thicker. None of us moved. I sighed, dropping the necklace back into the bag and turning. Jace's eyes immediately went to my eyes, which were starting to fill with tears. He frowned, eyes tight with worry.

"It keeps playing in my head. What happened." I averted his eyes, beginning to pace slightly. It wasn't as frantic as it usually was, but I wasn't frozen in my place.

"It's worse when people mention it, but it happens at any time." Jace's listened intently. "It starts with Jonah, then you, then sprinting, and then it's Sapphire. It's Sapphire." The sobs escaped.

"And I don't know what to do," I said, my voice raising. "This is new. I've been a Guardian for some time but loss is new. It's meant to be something that we just get used to as Guardians, that we normalise. But it isn't."

"You're grieving." Jace said.

I sighed, defeated. "It isn't just that." I said, turning around and sitting down on the edge of the bed. "It's guilt." I told him. "I can feel it. And..." I broke off, averting my eyes and staring into the distance. "And sometimes I see her."