Make It Simple (O2l fanfic)

chapter 62

You never know what will start your whole future. I guess it's fate though. I was meant to feel alone when I was a child. I was meant to have a fucked up "father" and a mother who would die when I was only nineteen. I was meant to start my Youtube channel.

I didn't start it in hopes of becoming famous or being noticed though. I did it because on your channel, you can say, do whatever you want and feel comfortable there because it's your channel; nobody else's.

I was meant to be told to "make it simple" and shake that person's advice, knowing I didn't want a simple life with a simple job with a simple house and simple kids. I itched for adventure and challenge but was so unsure of myself and my placement.

Little did I know,  all the time I spent trying to find my place was wasted, because I make my own place in life. I think you've really became your own person when you realize this is your life and you can do, be, say whatever you want to.

So maybe I didn't place myself with the popular kids, but I wouldn't change a single thing in my life. Every decision and choice I've made has lead up to this point in my life. The point where I'm happy and content, unsatisfied, but proud.

I have so many more things I dream of achieving, but I have a full life ahead of me. I realized I've rushed myself in so many situations in the past and those 'stressful' situations didn't have to be stressful. Those 'depressed' periods didn't have to be depressing.

What I'm saying is, life continues on, you can either trail behind it as if it were dragging you, or you could be one step ahead of it. It's all about how you react to situations.

As little of a concept it seems to be, it makes a big difference. It's about the way you see things and how you respond to those things.

I remember laying in my childhood bedroom wishing I was beyond my town boundaries. I felt stuck in my town and I would moop around all day. But I realized while I waited for the day I could get away, I needed to work with what I had.

Your true self doesn't show when your given the perfect situation and you make a life out of it. It's when you're handed struggles and challenges in life constantly and you make the best out of that life; that's when your true self shines through, showing what you're capable of and personally, that's the most important concept; to stay true to yourself and be proud of that.

 I wouldn't say you show always remember who you really are because there are times when you don't know how you are, but remember the struggles and battles you have been through, for they are what formed you.

I have to admit, beside from falling in love, the best feeling is finding yourself. I know I said you can choose your placement but finding yourself and choosing your placement are two completely different things.

You can go and try to place yourself where you think you belong or where you are happy, but you can't force yourself to find who you are.

And the moment when you know you've figured out who you are and finally felt content with your discovery is amazing. You'd never even think that whatever helped you find yourself would actually be the real reason until it happens.

If I never turned to Youtube in my confused and lonely times, I might not have found myself. It's crazy saying this but Youtube is the reason I found myself and the process and ways I did so are impossible to put into words but just know, you're time will come if it has not came already.

But like I said, finding yourself was the second best feeling because when I realized I was in love with Sam, it was an indescribable feeling; it was so new and pure. I felt like I was living in a completely different  view of life and I felt like I was on cloud nine.

I can't see the future or predict what will happen but I know for one thing, I'll always love Sam. Now I'm not ensuring that we'll always be together even though I don't see us breaking up anytime soon, but if we did, I'd be lost, because he is the love of my life.

I don't know which path fate will take us down, but all I hope is we go down that path together. But not just the two of us actually.

I hope to be surrounded by the ones who care and love for me. Kian, Jc, Ricky, Trevor, and Connor are all like brothers to me now and I couldn't bare losing them.

But it would be unimaginable if I lost any of my best friends; Andrea, Rebecca, Jenn, Lauren, Arden. They've kept me together throughout this journey and I owe them forever.

It breaks my heart knowing I don't live with Rebecca anymore or that I see her once a week rather than everyday. She's built my confidence so much and has honestly been the perfect best friend. It hurts looking back on our memories and realizing how much we've grown apart but I've basically been forced to raise my sister at the age nineteen.

If I could get our friendship back, I would say yes in a heart beat, but this is my life.

My future including all these wonderful people awaits. I thought I'd been through the worst but little have I known, this is just the beginning, but making it simple will not make it worth the struggle.

(I can't believe I just ended the book..I loved writing this story for you all and your support has meant the world to me. I really hope you liked the ending and thank you all so much for reading.

I LOVE YOU ALL SOO FREAKING MUCH!

P.s. I have started another book called Dark Love if you wanna go check it out? (;

love you guys <3)

THE END