Nothing Like Us - Taekook Fanfic

Chapter 52 - Choices

                                                  Jungkook's point of view

                                        One week before the announcement....

I opened my eyes and came face to face with myself. I didn't recognise me. Not because of the bruises or the bags under my eyes. I don't know who I was looking at. I have changed so much in the span of seven days.

My heart and soul died the day I had him in my arms, sitting in a puddle of his blood. There was nothing left in me...just my annoying thoughts that wouldn't stop torturing me.

I deserved that torture.

Each day passing, not knowing if he was going to make it through, was burring me under the ground. Not being able to see him, to talk to him, to let him know how sorry I was, was sucking every bit of life that I had left in me.

I was pushing everyone away. I didn't want anyone to comfort me. I knew it was my fault, but I was a coward to admit it to them.

I kept reading the message I received on the day Taehyung was shot.

"I warned you! If he is lucky he will survive. Next time it will be fatal. You choose!"

It was my choice. I laughed out loud.

None of these were my choice! Whoever was behind this had the audacity to tell me that it was my choice?

Every time I read it, it made me angrier. But it was a good reminder.

I can't take any more chances or risks. I had only one choice and I had to stick to it.

There couldn't be Taehyung and I, us together...it was over.

I'd rather be dead inside than put him in any kind of danger ever again.

I was a dead man walking already...so what's the difference?

I got another glimpse of myself in the mirror. Before I even realised, I threw my bare fist onto it.

I could no longer see my reflection. Scattered pieces of myself was all I could see through the cracked glass.

Blood drops taking different shapes in the sink from the cuts on my knuckles. The pain started to kick in. I could see shuttered glass under my skin.

I wrapped a towel around my hand and walked out of the bathroom. I took a look around my room. It was a mess...reflecting how I was also.

I didn't let anyone in my room. It was always locked. "I would take care of it when I want to" I told the others when they saw my room the other day.

They were all taking turns in coming to check if I was OK. Since Taehyung got shot, I locked myself in my room. I barely got out and when I did it's because Jin was drugging me to go and eat with them.

Like he did two days ago, and it ended in me and Minho fighting. It's better if I am out of the way.

The funny thing was that whenever I fought with him, no matter how much I hit him...he always wins!

He knows well how to hit me where it hurts the most. Everything he said were true...I was looking to blame others where I was at fault.

It still baffled me how he knew that I am the one responsible...maybe Taehyung told him something. I know he was already suspecting something. Maybe he told Minho.

I didn't know who to trust anymore. I couldn't even trust myself.

It has been a week since Taehyung got shot...two days that he has been awake.