Nothing Like Us - Taekook Fanfic

Chapter 56 - The need to feel something

                                               Jungkook's point of view

                                                        One month later

Another day at the gym, punching the boxing bag. This has been my safe heaven the past month. I spent hours working out, getting myself exhausted, giving myself no time to think.

I have been running around, travelling between Seoul and Busan trying to get some of the wedding details done. Mija's parents requested to have the wedding in Busan since it would have been difficult for most of their family to travel to Seoul.

Bang PDnim decided that it would be best to keep the wedding secret from the media which I was relieved with his decision. I wouldn't be able to play the happy couple in front of the media also.

We were going to use the Busan fan-meeting as a cover up just, so the media didn't have suspicions as to why we were all in Busan. The place and details of the wedding didn't really matter to me. I just saw it as a procedure that I needed to follow.

Mija has been so understanding and helpful all this time. I feared that she might had pressured me into being a "proper" boyfriend or fiancé, but she didn't force me into anything. She seemed very patient with me. We have grown a lot closer the past month, not at all romantically but I felt that she has turned into a great friend.

That made me a little less scared of getting married to her. I was lucky to have her by my side, but I felt guilty for not being the person she deserves...meeting her needs as her fiancé. I haven't even kissed her yet.

The past month I have been telling myself that "I will do it today" and always reschedule it for the next day. I couldn't bring myself to kiss her. I felt that if I was to do it I will be cheating on Taehyung and not being sincere towards Mija since I didn't have romantic feelings for her.

A kiss will give her expectations, maybe hopes...She was the woman I was about to marry and still couldn't make myself be her husband.

I consumed myself with the preparations for the wedding, as well as practising for our performances. I kept myself busy all the time.

Any down time I had all these thoughts and realisations of what will happen in about a month making me want to run away as far as I can and never look back.

My mind will always bring an image of Taehyung to bring me back to my senses...to give me a reason to stay and continue.

It's funny that he was both a reminder of everything I was losing and everything I will gain from going through this marriage.

We were still trying to figure out how to be with each other. It was a little awkward at times...other times it felt like the old days and tension will rise through the roof if we were ever left alone in a room.

We were both trying...really trying to act as if nothing has happened, as if we could go back and be just two friends and nothing else.

The boxing bag was swinging back and forth...quicker each time I punched. I started to feel pain as I was punching through my thoughts.

I was about take another punch when I felt two hands holding my shoulders tightly.

I froze in place.

It was him.

"That's enough for today Jungkook..." I hear his voice vibrating through my body.

I was trying to catch my breath, but his presence wasn't helping.

He walked around me, so we were now face to face. His back lightly touching the boxing bag.

We were not very far from each other...still at a safe distance.