Solitary Affection |MYG Fanfiction|

46

{Y/N's POV}

What am I doing.

What.

Am.

I.

Doing.

Every alarm bell possible goes off in your head as you have your arms wrapped around Yoongi, the feeling of his heart beating through his chest.

What do I do now?

I...Ryun never was much of a hugger...this is honestly...the first hug I've given in years....and he isn't hugging back either...

You awkwardly begin to back away but Yoongi places his hand on your lower back and keeps you there, his chin coming down to rest on top of your head.

"Just for a moment...please..."

His voice is a hoarse whisper as you nod and swallow hard, your own heart suddenly growing heavy with longing.

Is this what real intimacy feels like?

The kind you get from a significant other....or a sibling...or even...a parent....

After what seems like forever Yoongi finally pulls away and looks down at you, his broken expression before now hardened and clear of emotion.

"I'm sorry."

"N-No it's fine-"

"I'll have my driver take you home."

He quickly walks past you and opens the front door while avoiding your gaze, your chest suddenly filling with hurt.

"Thank you for everything this evening."

"U-Um...d-do you s-still need me tomorrow?..."

Please don't fire me...

Please...

"Yeah I still have work."

"Okay..."

Your future suddenly feels more uncertain than it did before as you quietly walk out of the apartment and quickly walk down the hallway and down to the front doors where the familiar black SUV waits for you, the driver immediately locking you in his gaze.

"After you madame."

Yoongi turned so cold...

Maybe he's like Ryun and doesn't like any kind of physical affection...

Now I feel guilty....

I'm going to mess something up for myself again just because I...

Do I crave affection I never got?

Is that what it is?

Am I projecting onto Maki what I never got....from my mother?....

Leaning your head against the window you look up at the sky and feel a bitter sensation fill your entire being, your lips turning down into a deep frown.

That bitch is the reason I'm going through all of this.

She's the reason I can't figure out how to live in society and know my place in it, because I never had a place in her life.

"Here we are miss Y/N. I will see to it you get inside safely."

"Thank you...have a nice night."

You quickly get out of the car and somberly make your way up the stairs to your ran down apartment, the place suddenly being the only sense of comfort you own.