Solitary Affection |MYG Fanfiction|

90

"You look satisfied Miss Maki."

With your back leaned up against Yoongi's stomach sitting between his legs the both of you watch Maki sit on your lap and press the little colored buttons on her toy, her binky popping in an out of her mouth while you keep your hands on her back to keep her upright.

"Mmmmmmm!"

"I think Maki was rooting for me this whole time."

"Oh?"

Feeling Yoongi's arms wrap around your waist and his chin rest on your shoulder he nods and kisses your jaw, his thumb tracing tiny circles on your belly.

"Maki liked you from the get go so I think she played matchmaker for her Appa."

"Pa?"

"You know what I'm talking about Missy."

Letting out a muffled giggle because of her binky Maki abandons her toy and crawls up on your belly with a smile on her face, her eyes looking up at the both of you with adoration and love.

"Do you...Do you think Maki is developing how she should?...because she's only saying a few words..."

"Don't worry Yoongi all babies develop in their own time. Maki is doing just fine at her age."

"Really?...you think so?..."

"I know so. I have a book."

"A book?"

"Right there on the coffee table, I got it from the bookstore Jimin and I went to it shows the different skills a baby should learn at each month of age. As far as talking Maki just learned how to say Eomma it just takes some babies a while to learn how to speak."

"Mmm...okay...."

"Don't worry Yoongi, you're a great dad."

"R-Really?"

Turning your head to look at Yoongi's wide wondering eyes you give him a soft smile and press a kiss on his pouty lips, his forehead tenderly meeting yours as he looks deep into your loving gaze.

"Really."

"Eomma!"

Quickly turning your head towards Maki who know uses her legs to bounce herself on your belly you giggle and lightly tickle her sides so she lets out a loud squeal, her binky rolling out of her mouth and landing on Yoongi's hand.

"Aigoo kid. Look at you."

"Papapapapapapapapapapapapapapappapapa."

"Mhm papapapa is right."

Leaning your head back on Yoongi's shoulder and holding Maki's hands so she can keep bouncing on you your heart exceeds its own level of warmth, your entire expression softening with admiration.

"You know a lot about babies Y/N-ah...did you learn any of it from your own mother?..."

Oh no..

Swallowing hard and feeling the weight of your past hang on your shoulders again you simply shake your head and fix Maki's crazy hair, a soft sigh emitting from your lips.

"No...I didn't learn any kind of empathetic skill from my mother."

"Oh..."

"She wasn't a loving person Yoongi...the only love my mother had in her heart was for herself."

"Oh...I'm sorry Y/N-ah..."

"It's alright...I wish my mother would have left me honestly...at least I would be able to create an image of what she could be like."

"What...what did she do?..."

Tilting your head back to look up at Yoongi your expression falls somber as his arms lightly tighten around you, his curious gaze making you let out a breathy chuckle.

"Well...my mother was a fan of other things I guess...she lived for what she could gain from others...she was not loving...caring...or empathetic in any sense of the word. The only reason I had food every night was because it benefited her to eat. Nothing special was ever made for me."

"Oh..."

"I learned at a very young age to take care of myself...I always lived in a nice house and my mother always had nice things because she got them from men that wanted her for her beauty...my mother was really beautiful...when I was younger I always wanted to grow up and be just like her."

Unconditional love...it's a powerful thing...

"However when I got a bit older...so did my mother of course...her youthful beauty faded along with the want from men that had money. By the time I was twelve years old we were living in a shack in the sixth district."

"Oh my god..."

"I still loved my mother though...against all her flaws she was still mine...at the end of the day she never did anything to hurt me...she just really did nothing at all. When I turned fourteen though...that's when I noticed something odd happening to my mother. She started all of a sudden getting involved with my school and she came to every even possible...I thought finally she had come to her senses and wanted to spend time with me."

Oh mother...

"Come to find out...um...my...my mother...she was...she was going to those events to meet up with a student in the high school...he was underage and when the parents found out they filed charges on her."

"Is she...did she..."

"She went to prison because of how young the boy was. It was a very well to do family and my mother had no money to fight anything. She admitted to it all right in front of everyone."

"Is she still in there?"

"N-No...no she's not.."

Feeling your heart constrict in your chest you look down at Maki and swallow hard, your thumb grazing over her soft chubby cheek.

"My mother hung herself in prison."

"Oh my god!"

"I guess she didn't see much of a path forward..she had nothing else to gain from anyone else so...she didn't feel the need to live."

"Y/N-ah...."

"It's okay Yoongi...it's odd...but I don't feel very sad about it...I went so long for so many years kind of being dragged around...the only feelings I had for my mother were the ones a child naturally develops at a young age. There was no special connection or bond...I knew my mother didn't love me."

When the words leave your mouth you slightly frown and keep looking down at Maki playing with Yoongi's fingers, a small sense of sadness tugging at your stomach.

I don't understand though...Maki isn't even mine...and she's become my whole world...I would lay down and die for her...why is it that my mother couldn't love me and yet I came from her...

"I love you baby."

Feeling tiny kisses being placed on your neck you slightly smile and lean into Yoongi's embrace, the hollow feeling in your heart replaced with warmth and love.

"I love you too Yoongi...."

I guess I'll never understand why my mother couldn't love me...but I do know one thing...

Yoongi and Maki love me...

(A/N): 🤭